New here so apologies if I'm posting in the wrong place. Let me give you the backstory.....my husband was diagnosed with cancer 10 years ago, before we were together. He was treated but suffered from a recurrence in his Lymph nodes. His subsequent treatment was significant but successful. His previous relationship broke down during this period and we got together about 6 years ago. He has always been quite matter of fact about his illness and talks about how he was back to work in 3 weeks instead of the 3 months recommended, etc. However, he never talks about how he feels or felt at the time, which is fair enough and I would never push him to. However, I've always suspected that he has supressed a lot of his emotions in relation to having cancer in order to protect those close to him (he is a father of 3 children with his ex partner and was the sole earner in that household). He is also very much a man's man and would feel it a sign of weakness to show his emotions. I don't want this to paint him in a bad light because I cannot begin to udnerstand what he has been through and everything he does is for his family first and foremost and himself second.
Fast forward to present day, for the past 6 months or so he has become overly concerned with what appear to be minor health issues, sore throats, moles, general aches and pains. He has insisted on having invasive tests and procedures to have his mind put at rest, even though his GP has not been at all concerned about the symptoms he has presented. On top of this he is becoming distant, snappy and lacks enthusiasm for life. He is also displaying behaviours that may or may not be considered self destructive - drinking too much, etc. Last night we had a massive heart to heart and he eventually admitted that he is struggling, not exactly in those words but he was able to convey to me that he is living with constant fear and anxiety and it seems to be getting worse. He spoke about how he believes he won't see old age (he is 39) and how he knows his behaviour is affecting his relationships both with me and his children but that he cannot snap out of it. We spoke about counselling but he point blank refuses and states that having counselling would be like admitting he was crazy. I have had experience of counselling myself and explained to him what it's about and how it might help him but I couldn't push it with him as I didn't want him to feel worse about himself than he already does. I also know that pushing someone into counselling is pointless. How can I help him? I hate seeing him this way and cannot comprehend how it must feel for him but I cannot do nothing and let his life fall apart around him. Any advice or thoughts would be greatly appreciated as I'm very worried about him.
