Hi cbh

This is totally normal it takes a long time to readjust from the stressful time you've been through, everyone here will have experienced it. You can often break the cycle by getting away from your usual surroundings and doing something totally different. I dont know how old you are, but if you are old enough and you are well enough how about going away in the summer holidays with a friend(s) for a trip, say hiking or cycling camping / youth hostel. It needn't cost a lot, you will have great fun and the adventure will leave you in a better position to deal with your problem.  Also if you think you have depression, tell someone you trust about it, there are specialists who can talk you through it and teach you how to break the loop that keeps you from moving on. Best wishes Kim