Hi everyone. Just signed up as out of curiousity I did a Google search 'how to cope with the loss of your husband'. I was 41 when my husband died aged 53 8yrs ago this September. We had 2 children who where then aged 12 & 3. I am devoted to my children and  all my efforts where to ensure i was there for them as if I was both mum/dad. One day it hit me that this was impossible, all i could do was be the best mum I could. 8yrs on as they are now nearly 19/13yrs there needs are not as demanding.  I actually broke down feeling so lost, this has been building up over a good while. Thinking I would marry the man I loved, grow old together etc etc. Yes, you learn to carry on with life,  but I miss him so much& it's still very painful. I suppose it doesn't help as since his death many things have 'happened' and recently I've also been diagnosed with epilepsy  so not only struggling to deal with that but it's like having your legs cut off as driven since aged 17. This makes running around, daughter to various things has had a massive impact. People say will help, I ask for my daughter but not for myself as don't want to be a burden as have so far been let down. Anyway sorry for rambling and sounding as if I just want to scream (I do)