Hi Speb42,

It's great to hear that you are on the road to recovery but it's understandable that you may have mixed emotions.

We're sorry that you didn't get many responses the last time you posted but now I've replied your thread will be bumped to the top and hopefully other members of the community will be along soon to offer their support and share their own experiences.

Kind Regards,

Steph

Hi,

From reading what you have written, I suspect a lot of it is due to your hormone therapy. It can produce mood swings. I know when I was on it for two years for my prostate cancer, I used to suddenly have tears running down my face at the slightest thing and that is so not me. I know some people get agnry because of it. It also does make somepeople feel anxious; in fact it alters a mans personality. I suffered from HOT FLUSHES much to my wife amusment. The way I manged to deal with all was to look on it as a price worth paying for the results it had in lowering my PSA.

I would recomend you have a word with your GP or medical team and tell how you feel. At least if you know what is making you feel like this, It would make you feel a little better. It's always the not knowing that is the worst thing.

Wishing you all the best and please keep in contact, Brian

hi Speb42

i have just been thru breast cancer, had the ops in october, lost a boob n lymph nodes n operated n saved the other boob, i was lucky as they got it all n dont need chemo at the mo, but couple months after op when everyone knew i was ok n they stopped worrying, i was still in pain and crying, the advert is right, it can be the most lonliest place and you cant explain to anyone, it almost felt like grief to me, after the funeral, what do you do when they all disappear? i talked an awful lot to myself n did alot of crying. then decided enough, and went got myself new job explaining everything to my boss, ive been there 2 months now and was best thing i did, still on loads of painkillers as have nerve damage and still feel down sometimes but so glad im still here and finally im back laughing sometimes, i hope you find your way, it is there somewhere but please never give up on being happy again x

Hi Steph, thanks for the reply sorry mine is so late. I still feel all over the place and have just had my chemo which wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Side effects haven't been terrible a bit like flu is the best way to discribe it. Anyway as I said in my first post I don't really know what I'm looking for really I just feel like I'm loosing myself I'm sure I will figure it out. Thanks once again 

Regards

Sped42

Hi Jenni,

Sorry for the delay in getting back to you. Sorry to hear the you have been suffering to and really pleased for you that you are moving on and hope your new job is still going well. Your right about cancer being a lonely place I would say apart from my wife I have had no support and I hate to burden her all the time. So I try to suffer in silence. I'm sure most of my mixed mood comes from the hormone problem but I just don't feel like the as person I know I wasn't everyone's cup of tea before the operations but now I just feel like a drone. I'm sure it will get better. I had my chemo on Monday which was not to bad and the nurses at the chemo unit where fantastic. I now feel like I have the flu I haven't had any sickness but they send you away with a bundle of anti sickness drugs. At least it has taken my mind of my low mood for a while. I hope your recovery continues at a pace all the very best speb42

hi Speb42,

im so pleased your 1st chemo went well, you are doing so well, and to be honest what my other half told me, he wished i did talk to him more, i felt same as you that i didnt wanna put all on him, but then he said he felt like i was shutting him out sometimes, you really cant win in this situation, so maybe be a bit more honest with your wife how you feel? i hope you carry on getting better slowly, remember it can take a very long time so dont try and rush your emotions, they will get there when they are ready, im sorry i took awhile answering but been working lots, i will try and check each day, will always be here to chat x

Hi Speb42,

HRT or not, I'm going through the same thing at the moment. I don't feel at all like my old self (perhaps not a bad thing!) and I'm trying to balance the whole experience in my head.

I've had the surgery, chemotherapy, radiotherapy and still having the Herceptin every 3 weeks. The treatment was horrendous and I can forget having children. I am thankful for my life though and the care I received was fantastic from the NHS. My long suffering husband is my hero and his support has been constant despite my being a cow! My own family have been there for me and I couldn't have done this without them but I'm not quite sure where the 'ME' has gone.

I'm functioning on automatic at the moment and trying to focus on my old routines. Perhaps I have to give myself a little time as the past few months has been all about the cancer? Don't people say that cancer changes a person?

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in feeling the way you do and I'm sure there are 100's of people who use this forum who are feeling or have felt the same way we do.

Wishing you all the best...... Joanne.

Hi Welsh101,

Thanks for the message 

I'm sorry to hear you have been having a rough time of it as well. I wish you a speedy recovery and thank you so much for taking the time in replying.  I know I shouldn't say it but it really isn't fair the cancer takes more than the the bits they chop off. I want to say I feel better this week but I don't really feel anything and don't  know how to act. I just go around in a bit of a daze. I know I'm not alone and there are people on this forum who are going through absolute hell day in day out and I feel guilty that I have been wrapped up in myself way to much. I need to change so much I just need to figure out where to start. 

Thanks once again all the very best take care. 

Speb42

Hi Jenni,

Sorry again that it has taken so long in getting back to you. I hope your well and completely understand that you can't reply straight away. We all have busy lives. 

I think a lot of my problem is I'm impatient. And I'm looking for answers but don't really know the question. I think I do need to man up a bit and not think so deeply. And yes I have tended to shut my wife out I know I do it. I think it's because when I was married before and I had look after my ex as she had a lots and lots of problems and it was draining. And I just don't want my wife to feel how I did. 

Again I'm very greatful for your time and responses. 

Very kind regards

Speb42