Sophie hi.

I can only speak for myself, my cancer as gone but still have 3 monthly checks.

I find some days I am good, others not. 

I need sleep and this can happen anytime.

Was told by my doctors it would be 12 to 18 months before full recovery.

Dont get pushed into anything you dont or cant do.

Time is a great healer do everything at your pace and listned to your body.

Take care Ian

Hi Sophie,

After everything was "over" with, and they said I was in the clear, I did not feel up to work for six months, just did not want to go in or face it. I worried I would never feel ready to go back.I was ready physically but not mentally.

Then one day after six months, I suddenly felt ready to go back. I can't explain why, the feeling of get up and go just returned. I went out, go an interview, got a job, I have been back five months now and its all going well. Had I rushed, I don't think it would have gone well.

Don't go back unless you feel ready. You will have bad days, and good days, don't rush in to anything. Some days you will feel like walking out of work and never returning, but you just need to find ways to to tackle worries etc if you have them at work. Perhaps go back for a few days a week or half days part time jus to test it out.

Good luck to you.

Sophie,

At the risk of sounding rude, what business is it of your ex-husband? 

I also have Stage 4 cancer and took early retirement because of it. If and when you feel physically and emotionally ready to return to the work force by all means do so, but don't let anyone, let alone your ex, push you into doing something you don't want to do.

Just saying :-)
Dave

hi Sophie

from what you write you are not ready to return to work. Cancer and its treatments take a great toll on the human body both physically and mentally. Major surgery takes at least a year for your body to recover and taking it easy for 3 months would not be unreasonable but everyone is different and only you will know when you are ready to return to work. Contact the McMillan nurses at your hospital they will have someone who can advise you on this and help you with applying for financial support if you need it. Wishing you a speedy recovery and success with your treatment. Kim

Thank you all so much for your replies.  

Hi Sophie,

I guess divorce is difficult, whatever the circumstances, and Christmas adds to the pressure on us all.

A good lawyer is always a good idea, especially where child maintenance is a factor.

I hope everything works out and that you get through Christmas OK.

Best wishes
Dave .
 

Hi

I am going to do a tough line.  It is so difficult to live after your experiences and now you are all messed up with financials.  Yup - financials are crucial ....but are you able to move forward in your life and agree an interim/divorce settlement?  You have yourself and your son to focus on - why not keep your energy that you are investing in anger as your ex does not sound as if he is worth your expenditure of energy?  Am I wrong?  If so - I apologise but to me living with cancer has so much more fear and responsibilities than financial considerations - key as they are.  Get a lawyer and negotiate?  Is this what you would say to your best friend if she/he were saying what you have reported?  Sian

Your ex is earning £8,300 a month and can't manage to keep his own child????????  Think he needs to live in the real world!    I would like to tell him where to put the Christmas fairy - right on that pile of b******t he is spouting!

All the best to you sweetheart -  you have been been strong and tough with the cancer, so find the strength to sort out that ex of yours!  Show him you are happy, independent and don't need him in your life x