Im here for a rant its the only place i can say how i feel without being judged or having someone tell me uck  why you still moaning lol ... when i was diagnosed  one of my friends was there with me and the same friend drove me to hospital app helped with groceries txd every day and popped in often .and believe me i love her for it .i have thanked her so many times that i hav lost count ,i also wrote her a lovely poem thanking her ..my family hav thanked her and my mum bought her a beutiful braclet just to say thanks ..well nearly 2 years hav past since then .but she still reminds me of what she did for me ..like recently i had a fundraising night in my back garden and invited loads of friends including her ..but to my disapointment she txd me hrs b4 the event to say she wouldnt be coming ..now of all the people i had invited she was the one i wanted there and maybe expected to be there so yeah i was rather upset but she couldnt understand why ..so yes we had words the nxt day at work  she had her say and i had mine ..but later on that night i recieved a very long tx basicaly saying she didnt kw i would hav been that upset by her not appearing .and if any of my so called friends that did appear on the night were actualy there for me during treatment the way she was which she answered by heself with NONE ..now im usualy a carefree person but i responded and was maybe a bit harsh with my reply ..now i think the friendship is over and of course this saddens me ..but i fot how many times are you going to remind me of all you did . I believe  A friend should always b there  in a time of need without  taking credit for it .without reminding you at every turn .and shouldnt bring down others while putting herself on a pedastal ..everyone if my friends helped  me through that *** year no matter how small a part they played i knew they were a phonecall away ..anyhoo i seem to hav over ranted ..but i feel lousy for the way the friendship has ended but i cant continue to live my life around anyone ..after all I  FOT THE CHEMO THE RADIO THE PAIN THE MASECTOMY THE HAIRLOSS THE CANCER  .AND I WON  .yes friends supported me along the way but is that not what friends do ....rant over .......