Hi Addy, I'm so sorry about your Dad. I guess I'll start by saying it does get easier to live with. Life won't ever be quite the same again but you do learn to deal with the loss more as time goes on. I lost my Dad about 3 and a half years ago to pancreatic cancer. Like your Dad, we thought an operation would be successful but it unfortunately wasn't. He was given 6 months to live, but he lasted about 6 weeks. It is devastating loosing your Dad. For a while I think I was in denial and I just wanted to have some sense of normality so I carried on, keeping myself busy and not letting myself think about it much. Everyone deals with grief differently, but it caught up with me and I really struggled. I eventually went for some counselling, this helped me focus on the things I love about my Dad and to remember all our good times fondly. I found talking about these positives with family and friends has really helped, as I was only think about the negatives of loosing him. It's been a tough few years, but it's getting easier and speaking of good memories keeps part of him with me. I hope this helps you somehow.