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Recovering - now my friend decides to abandon me

Strawberry Blonde
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Whilst I was undergoing my treatment, I was aware that some people didn’t come to see me or ask how I was – that I could cope with, I think I understood that some people didn’t want to be reminded of a tough time for themselves or even be around someone who was so poorly and didn’t know what to say.  However, what I have found tough is a very good friend has chosen to ignore me now I’m on my way to recovery.  This friend was so good to me during my illness and was the first person I turned to whenever things got tough.  Now I find she doesn’t reply to my emails or phone calls – it is more upsetting than anyone else.  Has anyone else experienced this?

  • Hi SB,

    Glad to hear you are making a recovery.

    I think its common for some people.

    I have had people stop talking to me, or look through me when I see them on the street like im not even there. I have deleted their contact details and will not be talking to them again.

    Is it possible something has happened with your freind, a family problem or something like that? which is why they have not got back to you?

  • Offline in reply to Space_1999

    thank you for your kind words.  Maybe there has been a problem, but I have asked a few times and have been told everything is fine.  I think I have to accept that she no longer feels a part of my life.  It is such a shame because she gave me so much support

     

     

  • Offline in reply to Strawberry Blonde

    Hi Strawberry Blonde

    It is easy to see everything in a cancer-related context but relationships ebb and flow and as Spacce-1999 has said maybe she has something else going on in her life. Maybe she feels that, whatever it is, it seems trivial compared with Cancer and she doesn't want to worry you?

    All I can suggest is that you give her some space, if she is a true friend she will come back.

    If she doesn't, she probably wasn't and isn't worth worrying about. This may sound harsh, but it is based on past experience. 

    About 25 years ago our son was diagnosed with severe autism and associated severe learning difficulties - you'd be amazed how many people I thought were close friends disappeared at that time. Something similar happened when I was diagnosed with Cancer, though not to the same extent. On the plus side, people who I hardly knew showed their true colours and provided much needed practical and moral support and became good friends.

    The ones who didn't run away or turn their backs in embarrassment were true friends. They are still around now and provided moral support when things were bad during chemo.  

     

    Best wishes
    Dave

     

     

     

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