Hi Jules yes it is sad news and Mark feels better knowing how long he has I personally would not. I am being strong for him and I know I will cope when he's gone I will just be upset getting over the fact he's gone and then it's keeping him in my memory. Which I don't want to think about right now.
I'm so thankful I still have my mum around who's still fit for her age (Touch wood) I may be nearly 71 but I could still do with a shoulder to lean on much like how my kids depend on me sometimes. My family have been the best and my daughters and son go up all through out the day and Mark liked company if he's in the mood or not. Take care ,Linda x
It is hard being strong all the time even we we think we have accepted what is going to happen. I was grateful to have the mutual support of our children and a couple of good friends who were my rock both during hubby'sjourney with cancer and onwards. Unfortunately my Mum just wished it was her as she has bi polar mental disorder and runs with the view that death is the best gift we could give her. The forum gave me some release to be able to say how I really felt and did help me to cope and it is still good to be able to chat with others who hae some level of understanding.
Keeping you and Mark in my thoughts during this emotional journey. Jules x
Hi Jules, it is hard to be strong all the time and my children truly understand me when I say I'm stressed out at times and they always give me a hug and offer to do things for me.
I think my mum can relate and give advice because she went through the exact same thing with my dad only a few years ago. He had been unwell for a period of time and then we found out he had stage 4 pancreatic cancer and my mother was in an awful state for a long time. He soon went into a hospice as he deterated quickly and my mum turned up at my door one night in tears saying it was all too much. And I think since his passing we have became close than we ever have been (And we have always been close)
And I've talked to my mum about her moving in with me as she's in her mid 90s and though she's mentally and physically well at that age I would feel a lot better if she was with me and then I don't have to worry if in the future if she was to take any falls she wouldn't be lying there all night possibly hurt. And she feels totally the same so in the near future she might move in.
Anyway enough of my rambling hope you enjoy your night. Hugs ,Linda x
Having the right family support goes quite a long way to helping with your own coping mechanism and you are fortunate to have that close bond with your Mum. I lost my Dad over 8 years ago to prostate cancer with secondaries in the lungs (he was 85 and Mum 82). She coped really well at the time and it was not until she dropped back into a spell of bi polar depression a few years later that she had to go into care. For her own safety she needs 24hr supervision plus now personal care). Luckily she was moved to within a half hour walk of where I live so I can visit.
Have been trying to keep relaxed in the evenings during this really hot spell. Had a couple of showers and a bit of thunder yesterday evening but it is dry at the moment and hoping for a rain free commute to work in half hour or so. Am looking forward to having my hair cut later and then spending the weekend with friends.
Hope Mark is being kept as comfortable and peaceful as is possible and that you and the family continue to get support from within the hospice. I found it was like living hour to hour during these last precious days/weeks and even though my hubby's choice was to stay at home we were really lucky to have a good back up team from his palliative care attached to his consultant, the community nurses attached to the GP and of course his doctor herself who also supported me and guided me through somehow.
Hi Jules was un active yesterday as Mark took a turn for the worst and I have been told to prepare for the worst. Spent most of the day by his bedside as he fell in and out of these heavy sleeps but couldn't have the strength to talk to me. Absolutely broke my heart seeing him struggle to speak and then fall back into these sleeping patterns and the nurses told me it's a common symptom of the end is coming.
Shed quite a few tears yesterday. I asked the nurses why he deterated so quickly from earlier in the week and they said it usually is surprisingly quick once there in a hospice.
They advised me to get the close family up and see him incase the worst happens. So they were all up today and seen him. My daughters are devistated and my son is pretty straight faced about it all. That's how he handles situations like this.
Just cut the grass to get my mind off it and then did a bit of cleaning and took my mums clothes round as she got a new drier. So I'm doing alright. Take care ,Linda x
I think the doctors have a good idea when they suggest hospice care that the time left is somewhat limited. When my Dad went in for the final time (he also had pain management for a short stay) he passed within aweek and it was the same for a very good friend of mine. Although my hubby was at home we had a hospital bed delivered and five days later he passed away. Such an emotional time for you all and you are doing all you can and try and take some comfort that as he is being cared foras it leaves you free to be by his side as and when you need to be.I was emotionally shattered and am sure you are too with sleep hard to come by as one ear listens for the phone when you are at home. My thoughts are with you and sending virtual hugs. Jules x
Hi Jules Mark passed away at around 3am this morning. I got a phone call from the hospice to tell me he wasn't going to last the night. I phoned all my kids and told them to come to the hospice as he wasn't going to make the night. I just couldn't drive I was in such a state. My daughter picked me up.
We ended up all there and the grandkids came as well. And they all took turns sitting down with him and talking to him. Me on the other hand I couldn't talk to him without crying. I thought he wasn't hearing me and then he squeezed my hand.
On the last hour he seemed to perk up a bit and opened his eyes. He pointed over to the corner and mumbled "Go away I'm not ready to go yet" wonder who he was talking to but soon after he slipped away Into a sleep and he was gone.
We eventually left and we were all crying at one point and I have them all hug and said I'll seen them today.
I'll be honest I need to get things done and arranged so I'm not doing to be sad not until I can sit back with a cup of tea that's when it will really hit me. Take care ,Linda x
I am so sorry to read Mark passed away last night. It was good you were all there for him and lovely that he sqeezed your hand. I just want to say your friends are here for you anytime.
Sending sincere condolances to you and your family at this sad time, Brian.
Lets start with our good news. As you know my son is on holiday in Scotland. Our grandaughter had arranged with her school that her friends parents could send a copy of her exam results to her and she has done very very well, and came second in all the school. We are both so very proud of her. The hard work she has put into her studies has paid off handsomly. My son will start his new job on Tuesday and has a posh company car to go with his new job. He comes back today.
We only had a few gnats fly over yesterday; no real rain at all. Far too hot to do any turning lately. I have four bases that need lids turned but will wait until the weather has cooled down. As I have said on my pictures thread, this hot weather is affecting my diabetes and have gone quite low too days in a row.as has Mrs B. My diabetic nurse said it is harder for someone on tablets like me to adjust for warm weather. Its easier for Mrs B as she is on five injections of insulin per day apparently.
I had bad news yesterday, we have lost another member of our woodclub who was also on our committee and who used to be our newsletter editer some years ago. He will be sadly missed as he was a real gentleman. I sent a flash e-mail round to our members and have had some lovely comments back about him. I will send these on to his son and family as I an sure they will love to read them.
Bet it has been warm going into and back from work and pleased you have found time to spend in your garden. Sounds very peacful. I am pleased I am retired as I wouldnt want to be working at the timberyard in this weather. It used to be very hot in summer and freezing cold in winter.
I wish you a good weekend and hope you enjoy the visit from family and friends.
Sending kind thoughts and best wishes your way, Brian.
