Hi Brian and thank you for your kind words; they are much appreciated.  The forum and the buddies I have made here make day to day life just that little easier as I travel the road of my life now.  I know you have often said that you felt your own cancer illness had made you a better person and I have found a strength that I have  no words to explain.  I am a very ordinary person and even if I just keep posting as a 'supporter' I feel it is a two way help - hope this makes sense.

My children's pain today is hard for a Mum but they have sent messages of support and I love them to bits. I spent a few unplanned hours with daughter and family and on the spur of the moment my son in law took us for a curry last night.  Hubby loved his indian food prior to becoming ill and I am pretty sure he would have approved.  I also learnt yesterday that my son is taking part in the Cancer Research 'Dryathlon' during January as a way of marking his Dad's memory  so am thoroughly emotionally proud.Quite a weekend but am getting there. 

As to my sense of humour - it's a shame you could not see me out walking/remembering as I trudged through mud and puddles in my zebra striped wellies to pay my respects to my man! Could I actually have got any wetter .......... probably not but he was worth it!  Not sure what the  people in the cafe made of my bedraggled appearance when I stoped for a 'pick me up' coffee on the way home though the 'too old to care' comes to mind.

Hope you and Mrs B are feeling load better now.  Hugs from a 'drying out' and grateful Jules xx

Good morning Jules,

Me and Mrs B are still suffering from those colds/coughs But things are improving slowly. I spent most of yesterday on my laptop, making membership cards for my wood club. Each one has the members name and membership number and expiry date and I have printed them out on stiff card and trimed them all to size. I have also ordered some plastic sleeves to put them in. We have paid about £90 pounds for 200 plastic cards and have then had to write names and expiry dates on them. Doing it like this, it has only cost about £7 for 100 sleeves plus a bit of ink. As our membership like most clubs locally is dropping, we have to trim costs where we can. This should make things a lot quicker and easier for me next week when our subs are due and I have a line of people wanting to give me money ha ha.

Hope your trip to see your mother can be done in the dry today and that she is in responsive mood today. Our neighbour is still in hospital and we havent heard how she is. When I went up town on Saturday to get more chestnuts, I found the man wasnt there so was a wasted journey. However, I did find a glass jar with a top on it with a candle inside and an owl printed on it so guess who now owns it.

Hope work wasnt too busy yesterday and that you have got things back to near normal now. I agree with what you said about finding strenght. Cancer does change our lives in ways we would never have believed beforehand. It also make us much more apperciative of the small little things.

Glad you were taken out for a meal at the weekend. I always have problems if we go out for a meal as I dont eat many things. If potatoes wernt available, I would just wither away. I dont eat meat at all and the only veg are spuds, baked beans and peas or raw carrotts. When my father went back to Canada at the end of the war, I just stopped eating a lot of things. One good thing is it doesnt cost much to feed me ha ha.

Take care, sending best wishes and kind thoughts to you and your family, Brian.

Hi Brian

It seems that the colds that are about at the moment all take their time to clear so take care and hopefully they will soon be gone.  I expect you miss being able to cheer up your elderly neighbour but hopefully the relatives will give you an update soon and do hope it is better news for her.

Finally beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel as regards emotions of the past couple of weeks and have begun to make plans for the improvements/decoration in the home.  Nervously awaiting 'pricing' and awaiting call back from a couple of tradesmen.  Exciting and thought-provoking in equal measure but pretty sure it is the right decision in the long run.

Visit to Mum was not too bad as was able to get her to have a little chat and show a bit more interest in her Christmas gifts.  Just have to 'go with the flow' on a week to week basis as never really sure how the moods will take her.

Work stress is still something to get sorted but would rather stay put for now as do not think a change would be a good idea whilst I am still sorting out my own personal emotions - do not want to hurry into a decision I may regret!!

Am a bit 'limp along cassidy' as managed to pull something in my knee again (ongoing weakness!!!) today (grrrrrr) so support back on and painkillers at the ready.   Take care Jules x

Good morning Jules,

I do hope your knee has improved. Hope you have got prices in now and that they are reasonable prices. Also pleased your visit to mum went okay. Our house looks rather bare after the decorations have been taken down.

Our neighbour is improving slowly but still not sure wither she will be able to come home as there is doubt she may not be able to look after herself. Our colds are improving but are still hanging on. I should have gone to one of my charity meetings today but didnt want to pass it on to any of them. But the good news is, when I went to the maket today, he had got some more chestnuts so bought a big bag full as they are probably the last he will have. I didnt leave him with many in stock, ha ha. Mrs B has just bought a large owl cookie jar and is over the moon with it.

Hope you have a peacefull weekend, sending kind thoughts your way, Brian

Hi Brian

Know what you mean about house looking a little drab following the decorations coming down.  Also reminded me of the dusting that needing doing ha ha. Should have some quotes in this week and then decision to be made. Am pleased to be getting my head into gear and concentrating on the home again and know long term it will  be worthwhile (not looking forward to the mess though).

Thank you my knee not too bad today and the extra exercises seem to help too. Am keeping moving at regular intervals which also helps.  When all else fails calls on pain relief gel!

Highlight of my morning was being dive bombed by a red kite on walk home - never have a camera on me when it counts - would have made a great selfie.

Glad to read your neighbour is making progress and am sure the hospital will assess her needs prior to discharge (that was how my Mum ended up going into care facility as it was proven she could not fend for herself - physically or mentally and she refused point blank to return home!!).

Tell Mrs B she and I share the passion for all things owly!  I had to replace my broken brolly and now have one with owls on.

Take care of each other and best regards to you both and the family. Jules x

Hi Brian

How lovely that you have had contact with your elder brother in Canada both by e mail but even more special  by phone.  That must really have lifted your spirits and I am sure your sister will feel the same when he calls her.  Whist e-mail helps us all keep in touch  to hear each other's voices does make a difference.

Loved your tale about your Grandfather and those memories are great to keep. Funny how someone else's conversation can spark them off too.  I do not have many memories of my Nan (only had one surviving grandparent after age of 2) as she was not seen very often (a couple of times a year at most).  She lived in a small village outside of Cambridge but do remember sitting on her back door step 'podding peas' from her garden and getting told off for trying to feed them to the birds ha ha. I think I was around 8 and got my own back by spreading sweet pea seeds all round the veggie plot - how naughty was I!!

Well, am up to my eyes in arranging work to be done on the house and receiving quotes at present. Trying to get things done in the right order (repairs/installations before decorating etc) is quite a challenge so think 2016 is all about reaching goals set.

My daughter has her follow up appointment at the hospital this Saturday so may have the  boys for a couple of hours so that my son in law can take her.  Hopefully they will finally give her some feedback as to what they consider the cause of her occasional faints to be caused by as whether she is allowed to drive again or not will probably depend on the outcome.  She has not had a recurrence since her last  collapse in March last year (I still think this was linked to her Dad's death as the faints seem always to have some sort of stress related to them as well as the fact that she has always suffered with low BP linked to her heart having a fused chamber). I am sure we will all  be relieved once we know what is going on.

Hope all is well with you, Mrs B and the family. Take care.  Jules x

Hi Jules,

Hope all goes well for your daughters appiontment on Saturday. It must be a concern for you all. I am sure the boys are allready looking forward to staying with you. They are so lucky to have you. My sons inlaws never have shown much attention to our grandchildren and have certainly never played with them.

I remember when I was still at school, my mother used to keep fainting and hers was linked to her blood presure.

I had our first meeting of our woodclub last night and as I am membership secretary and take the subs, the new cards I had spent time printing and cutting made life so much easier last night. I had no long line of people this year waiting to pay and several members commented how much quicker and better the new system was. Plus it has cost our club only 20% what it did last year and will be even less next year. I had ordered some clear plastic sleeves to put the cards in and as I had had to print them out before the sleeves arrived I had guessed at the size but they were a perfect fit thankfully.

I feel sure your hubby is very proud of you, dealing with all the quotes ect. Sounds like you have great organizational skills too. Hope you usual Tuesday visit was a good one and you didnt over exert your self at the gym afterwards.

Take care, sending best wishes and kind thought your way, Brian.

Hi Brian

So pleased that everything ran smoothly on your return to woodclub and am sure you are looking forward to a good year ahead and no doubt more plans ahead once the weather gets warm enough for your return to the garage/man shed.  Must say today was decidedly chilly and my walk to the gym was a frosty one. Seems to be doing the knee good though and have a few adapted exercises to do at home if I get bored!

Daughter had her appointment and thankfully the MRI found no trace of a problem within the brain. A small cyst on the outside gives no cause for concern though they will keep an eye on it and she goes back in 6 months.  Unfortunately the ECG results still failed to be there on time so suspect they are resting on someones desk but her consultant said he will pop results in the post so hopefully all well there too (am sure she would have heard something sooner if there had been a problem as this test was done in early December).  So for now they just have to let DVLA know the outcome and wait to see whether she can be allowed to return to driving (we suspect it will be at least until she has been 'faint free' for a year which will take her to March).

The two grandsons were happy to play around me this afternoon so we raced cars and built bricks as well as getting a game of hide and seek and lots of cuddles from the youngest - all good.  Eldest lad has asked to return without his little brother sometime soon so we can play 'tiddlywinks' as the little one tends to run off with the counters ha ha.  They were both very excited today as this morning they picked up their first pet kitten.  It is a rescue cat that had been resident with the RSPCA for 7 months and it needs to be a indoor cat which suits them fine as they live in a first floor flat.  Within an hour of being back home with them it had found its bolt hole (under the bed!!) and the boys know to leave it in peace if it goes there.  It apparently follows the boys everywhere and has even mastered 'vaulting' the stair gate.  I think this will be a good addition to the family and gives them something good to focus on.

I don't know about my organisational skills other than to say that pre-kids I was a secretary and old habits die hard! Next appointment is 22nd when I go to view the kitchen design virtually and decide if changes are needed or we can go forward.

Well a peaceful, cosy evening planned and then my usual walk tomorrow (the food and artisan market is back yey).  Hope you and Mrs B are ok and sending hugs. Jules x

Good morning Jules,

Hope you have not had too much snow. We have only has a light dustingand have been tols the rain will clear it later. If you are going out for you usual Sunday walk, please do be careful for I remeber all to well the time I slipped on a small patch of mud and ended up breaking one of my pubic bones. I ended up confined to the upstairs area as nearly went out of my mind as I hated not being able to get out and about.

Glad to hear the report on your daughter was good. Can imagine the excitment of your two lads regarding the new addition. I know Mrs B misses having a cat but wont risk losing one like we did last time.

Take care sending best wishes and kind thoughts to you and your family, Brian