Oh Jules forgive my post on my site to you .....I am so sorry not to have known of your hubbies departure.  You know from the support you have given me how well I understand your current situation and my heart goes out to you.  My site tells of my joirney through this uncharted place you find yourself in.  It is difficult but you will come through.

All my thoughts and a big virtual hug

Ian x

Hi Ian

Just lovely to see your name appear on my thread and suspect its just as hard for you to post but I really appreciate the message.  It was a long three years for hubby and I take much comfort in the fact that he is now free from the clutches of his disease which took his happiness away.  I am surrounded by the love of my family and friends (and the ongoing support of virtuality buddies) and now, like you, my life must be lived to the best of my ability. Early days still but so many memories to cherish and share with others - a few late nights of 'story-telling' along the way.

Sending hugs and best wishes and hope all is well with you and Julie in your new life.  Jules x

Good evening Brian, just logged on to my e mails before settling down to watch some tv.

 Glad your grandson got through his pre-op and his cheekiness will help him and the whole family cope - he is a little diamond and do wish him well. Let us know how the op goes.

Look forward to seeing the start of your new wooden adventures and bet it felt good being able to get back to it.  Lovely that you were able to take Mrs B for such a long drive - did  you find anything nice at the garden centre.  My son is going to take me along next time he goes as we both need compost for containers and I have a feeling other things will find their way into my trolley!!

Washing machine is okay but nice that I can dry outside even though it does have a drying facility you cannot beat the freshness that hanging outside gives you. Enjoyed my night out, though going alone felt a little strange (my friend went to Cheltenham with her husband for a day at the races) but had a little win so worth the bus journies and will save it towards my spending money on holiday in April. Looking forward to my walk tomorrow though still have to decide where to go - will see what the morning brings.

Have a peaceful day with Mrs B.Take care. Jules x

Good afternoon Jules,

Here is the finished owl frame. Will have to put a better picture in it though. Have allready nearly got the next two rady. Just needd to make the base plate and cut the perspex and hardbord for the back. These took less than half the timethan the one shown in the picture and will be even better quality.

Hope you enjoyed your walk. Kind regards Brian.

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Woo hoo Brian, looking good and   bet it felt good to be back doing what you love. Hope you were pleased with the results of  your labours.

I had a quiet morning yesterday in the end as was invited to go on a country park walk in the afternoon so saved my energy! Had much fun watching eldest grandson scoot and run round and retrieved muddy welly when he 'left it behind' when he tried to free himself (hilarious look on his face when he realised!!).  However did not learn and when it happened again it was his Dad that did the honours but this time he had put his foot back down - yuk - It was a squelchy walk back to the car park with more mud on the inside of the welly than on the outside so a bit of cleaning up required (and a bath to look forward to!). 

Am having the two boys after eldest finishes school today as my daughter has a doc's appointment following on from her hospital trip last week and we are hopeful they can fast-track her heart check up at Harefield Hosp to help ease her mind.  Bless her she is struggling a little at the moment with all that has occured so far this year so will help as much as I am able.

Am back into work today (not really looking forward to it if I am honest, as have kind of got used to being able to get on with things as and when I wanted but needs must and I suppose I will be fine once back into the routine again) and will miss being able to get into the garden - lovely sunny (and frosty) start  hre but apparently will be raining by time I leave to come back home.

Well, breakfast is done and dusted  so best move on.  Hope you and Mrs B have a good day.  Hugs  Jules x

Hello Jules, not been on for a while, busy taking care of mum.  I am feeling very emotional this morning, trying to get a few bits done and the tears are flowing.  My mum looks so frail lately with the weight loss. I took my brother to the airport at 4.30am today after his weekend visit, always sad to see him go!  Ordered repeat prescription forms mums gp surgery last Thursday and when it was delivered late Friday and I checked it Saturday there were two missing sets of tablets!  I spoke to the chemist who confirmed they did not receive the request, so complained to her gp surgery at 9am.  Unbelievable, I said you never call to see how things are and the last home visit I requested the gp actually asked her what was wrong with her. So I think my tears are sadness, worry, frustration and some anger today.  Sometimes I just feel so alone dealing with this even though I have you, God bless you, Macmillan etc it's still so hard.  I read this last post and you know it made me feel better right away, so happy to see you have had a lovely weekend, enjoy your day at work, speak soon.....Kerrie xxxx

Hi Kerrie

This journey is such a rollercoaster of emotions isn't it?  I expect seeing off  your brother makes  you feel like you are having to cope all alone again and its both frustrating and frightening in equal measure. It certainly does not help with the professionals treat you/your Mum like a number and cannot get her meds ordered properly - not surprised you pulling your hair out.  I know I found it increasingly difficult watching my husband  take the downward spiral and knowing you cannot change it for the better is pretty awful but always remember you are doing your best and are not superhuman.  I am sure your Mum is very glad to have you nearby but it would seem that the doc and nurses need to be reminded that she needs their attention too. It feels like sometimes when they know there is a relative easily to hand things can be let slide as you need to keep on asking.  We were, I realise very very lucky with hubby's medical team and just wish it was the same level of service for everyone.  Its good to have the forum to offload on - it kept me sane for many months during our journey and am here for you now whenever you fancy or can manage to chat.

First day back at work was pretty hectic but just means the time rushes by.  I had the grandchildren for an hour or so after school finished as my daughter needed to attend her GP and its easier without a toddler and a six year old.  Gave them their tea so that she can enjoy a relaxing evening with her husband once he returns from work. 

Look after yourself. Sending hugs. Jules x

Good morning Jules,

The owl now has another two friends to keep him company and yes I have enjoyed getting back out to my woodwork. Have had to go to the tip today to empty my sawdust bins, most of it from last year I might add. It is amazing how much sawdust one small turning produces.

It's nice weather for your walk to your mothers place and you may even be able to spend time in your garden. Glad to hear you had a small win at the bingo on Friday evening. Have you regained you concentration for reading yet? I can undersatnd it as when I lost my mother, I had difficulty in concentrating on anything for a few weeks.

Tommorow evening I have our next woodclub meeting when we are going to annonce the names of the companies giving discount. I have got to print up a little booklet to show our members and will then ask how many would like a copy for a small sum to cover printing costs. Tommorow I will start to make to make up a jig for turning oval frames. This is going to be a challenge even though I have drawn up a rough plan. It's going to be very much trial and error but I am determined not to be beaten..

Hope you have a peaceful day, Take care, Brian.

Hi Brian

So you are adding to your owl family (Mrs B will be delighted and you may have trouble getting them out of the house ha ha).  I am sure with your 'I can do it' philosophy you will succeed with the new jig and hope also that you have a lot of interest in your 'discount company booklet' after the effort you have put into it - am sure you will.

The walk to Mum's was lovely and so many front gardens brightened up with spring bulbs. Felt really relaxed when I arrived half an hour later.  To add to my pleasure Mum was on a good day and we had a real happy chat for an hour and she also asked (and got) a manicure by the 'activity lady'.  She was off into enjoy fish pie for lunch followed by a trip upstairs to the hair salon (hairdressers come in two days a week).  I do try to make the most of these visits.  Will be going in again on Sunday morning before being 'treated' to an afternoon of tea and cakes by my children and their other halves. 

The little win at bingo will be added to my holiday pot so something to look forward to.  Have a peaceful day with MrsB.  Kind thoughts sent your way.  Jules

Hi Jules,

I have something I would like to share  with you regarding my youngest grandson. As you may remember he has to go into hospital on Friday for his operation. My son has told us about something that was said when he was in  for his pre op last week.

My greandson was asked if he wanted to wear a hospital gown or his pajamas when he has his op. He replied, "If you mean that gown where your bum falls out the back, I would sooner wear my pajamas. I'm not showing my bum to anyone". Needless to say, all the nurses and doctors fell about laughing and others came to see what all the laughter was about.

Hope you get a big a laugh about it as we did, take care, Brian.

Hi Brian

Your grandson is a marvel and as with lots of kiddies has 'an old head on young shoulders' and a wonderful sense of humour - definitely following in grandad's footsteps I reckon. I do so wish him all the very best for Friday as he really deserves a break.  Thanks for cheering me up no end.  Jules x

Hi Jules,

Thanks for your reply and kind wishes. I ent to se my grandson last night before going to the woodclub. He told me he is reading The Hobbit Book and has got up to page 85. My son told me he has alrready told the hospital he is taking the book in with hin in case he gets time to read any more.

With regard to the ad on Facebook I was pleased to be able to help. This site has helped so many so anything that brings more members has to be a good thing. I managed to mow the front lawn but the back one is still to wet as yet. Enjoyed the meeting last night as it was about a local group that go aroung repairing all the styles on the local footpaths. On Saturday I have another cancer meeting so still keeping busy.

Have also been to my local nut shop and have stocked up. Made the staff laugh as I told them I was concerned when I found the old shop closed. But found out they were just moving round the corner. So while writting this I am feasting on some cashew nuts.

Hope you have  a good few days off now and that you have a good night out tommorow night. Take care, best wishes, Brian

Hi Jules,

Thanks for your reply and kind wishes. I ent to se my grandson last night before going to the woodclub. He told me he is reading The Hobbit Book and has got up to page 85. My son told me he has alrready told the hospital he is taking the book in with hin in case he gets time to read any more.

With regard to the ad on Facebook I was pleased to be able to help. This site has helped so many so anything that brings more members has to be a good thing. I managed to mow the front lawn but the back one is still to wet as yet. Enjoyed the meeting last night as it was about a local group that go aroung repairing all the styles on the local footpaths. On Saturday I have another cancer meeting so still keeping busy.

Have also been to my local nut shop and have stocked up. Made the staff laugh as I told them I was concerned when I found the old shop closed. But found out they were just moving round the corner. So while writting this I am feasting on some cashew nuts.

Hope you have  a good few days off now and that you have a good night out tommorow night. Take care, best wishes, Brian

Hi Jules,

Just a quick update on my grandson. He went in very early this morning and his op went okay and he is now home, playing on his ex-box. He had the camera down the throat and they were able to zap the infection with a laser so do hope he will feel more comfortable shortlu and that he wont keep feeling sick all the time. 

Attached is a photo of him taken by my son this morning.

Thanks again for your kind thoughts and words, Brian.

Great news Brian and think he did a good 'nose job' too. Such a brave lad and probably be running around at school soon!! Full of bouncebackability for sure.

Lovely day here so have managed to do a couple of hours in the garden (clearing deadwood from my shrubs) and will have to prepare containers soon as son picking up large bags of compost so I can plant up the dahlia tubers. Have some wildflower seedmix to sprinkle around but need to prepare the ground first and still rather heavy! May take myself off to the garden centre early tomorrow (get discount for oaps if shop  before 11.30) as need some fine netting to protect containers from digging cats once newly planted.

Been a bit of a mixed day as regards emotions as have begun to clear out books hubby used to read. Bagged up and ready to drop into charity shop (he loved sci fi and I am not a fan!!). Am half way through a thriller but only managing a few pages at a time before mind wanders (not always sure where its going) - hoping once the weather is kind enough to let me sit outside will get concentration back.  Have also recieved formal letter of apology from the Registrar's Dept so suppose not surprising feel a bit 'rocky'.

Will be going out this evening and hope that will blow some 'happy vibes' in my direction.  Hope you and MrsB have a peaceful weekend.  Off to put the kettle on and plan dinner. Take care.Jules x

Hi Jules,

Thanks for the reply. I can understand how clearing out hubbys books effected you emotionally. I felt terrible when clearing my mother things. Several time I had tears in my eyes when I found things she had kept. Can also understand you not being able to contrate on your book. It's still early days .

My grandson is pretty near back to normal and will get the dressings looked at on Tuesday. Just had a good laugh with my next door neighbour. The postman was delivering a cardboard box for her but as she is not able to get to the door quickly, I told him I would take it for her. When I took it round for her she was puzzelled as she hadnt sent for anything. I saw she was struggling to open it so I opened it up for her. Inside was yet another box which she could not get out. Even I had trouble it was such a tight fit. When she eventually opened up the second box she said "Good lord, it's my spare boob". I am still laughing now She had a breast removed because of cancer many years ago and her daughter had ordered a new one for her and she had forgotten about it. I told her maybe she had won a booby prize!!!!!!!

Any way hope this make you smile like it has me. Take care, hugs, Brian.. 

Hi Brian

Well your post did make me smile and thank you for sharing the tale about your neighbour's special delivery - she must be quite a character.

I am sure your grandson will have his cheeky side ready for when he has his dressings checked and do hope that this op will help him with the problems he had been experiencing - being young will no doubt help the healing process and he has an amazing outlook.  No doubt you will hear all about soon.

Had hoped for a nice day but its drab and drizzly here so instead of heading into the garden (had planned on planting up containers in the front garden), I will go the the shops early and if the forecast is correct and it dries up later, then I will head outside.

Saw Mum on Sunday and she is planning to have hair hair done today and I was informed 'no  need to visit again  as nothing to say!! - bless her. Even at my age I am still doing what I am told.

Later in the week will babysit for my daughter as they have parents evening and on Friday my daughter has to return for more blood tests so will go with her to 'hold Zack'. As she has to fast beforehand will no doubt go for 'pick-me-up' afterwards.  On Saturday I am going for a day out with a friend (coach trip to Canterbury (neither of us drive!!)) so  am being kept busy.

Hope you and MrsB are keeping okay and that the 'owl family' is 'turning' out well. Speak soon.  Jules x

Hi Jules,
You are keeping busy and that is good.  Had a good time at the wedding last Friday and having a great time with the family.  I laugh so much tears are running down my face.
We had the grandkids sleep over last night and I was so greatful for 3 extra pairs of hands ( first time both of them were here together).  Another sleepover planned for next Tues.  The family leave the following Friday.
Extra gardening being accomplished.   Babysitting is such a joy isn't it?  It certainly makes me laugh.  Mum and the sisters are doing well, mum is so mentally quick and with it.
On Friday we are off to Adelaide museum.  Hubby took her there on a previous visit and mum would like to revisit it.  We are gallivanting again on Sunday, so mum has plenty of energy and enthusiasm.  She does have a nap during the day, but at 88 that's to be expected.  Sis awaiting Email From doc re results and we know how worrying that can be.  In the meantime we are having lots of laughs.
Did you get out into the garden today?
Anyway must head off to bed now.
Love and best wishes,
Kathy x
 

Hi Kathy

So pleased to see your post here and that you enjoyed the wedding and that the time  you are spending with Mum and sis is giving you plenty to laugh about. There is a thread on the forum called Laughter is the best Medicine and I have to agree.  Your Mum is amazing at 88 and its great that you are able to be out and about whilst they are with you and probably good that your sister has you all to help keep her mind from wandering too much for the upcoming doctors' call/appointments.

I am supposed to be eating healthy as have to have re-test for cholesterol level next month but am not finding it easy shelving the comfort food for the 'good stuff' ha ha. The day usually starts well but the evening it goes to pot - need to find some willpower!

Beautiful here today and so yes once I got in from work I  planted up four large containers  in the front garden so mission accomplished for the time being.  Have miniature tulips in flower and also the quince and forsythia are both breaking bud - so good to have some colour back in the garden.

Well, off to make a cuppa and put my feet up for a while as no doubt will be kept on my toes (hide and seek a current favourite) with the grandchildren when I babysit after I finish work tomorrow -mind you the toddler is still crawling quicker than he can walk and being a cheeky little devil (learnt from his older brother!!).

Enjoy the rest of your time whilst your family is with you and look forward to chatting again soon. Sending hugs  Jules xxx

Hi Jules,

Hope you have enjoyed your trip to Canterbury. Havent been there for years. Hope it's warmer there than it is here today. Decided not to venture out into the garage as it's quite a chilly wind here. Hope you enjoyed your time with Zack, my how quick they grow up. My youngest grandson had a few problems as he kept being sick. Think he picked up a bug but at last he is feeling better Dou to your word, bouncebackability. When I saw him on Tuesday he was feeling very sorry for homself which is not like him at all but when I went back on Wednesday he was a lot better but kept lifting my arm up over him so he could snuggle up closer.

Have now managed to mow the back lawn at last. Over the past few days I have had three meetings to do with cancer. Tried to order some more woodturning sundries from two differnt suplyiers today but one is on holiday and the other had sold out of the goods I wanted. So in frustration I have opened up my new pack of peanuts. I always say out of something bad, some good happens. Brianitus reigns again Jules.

Hope you were able to go out last night and that you had an enjoyable evening. Take care and I wish you a peaceful and enjoyable day tommorow, hugs, Brian.

Good morning Brian

Your poor little grandson has been through the mill bless him but glad to read he appears to be improving now and will no doubt be back to his cheeky self soon. Its always good to be able to snuggle up to Grandad for a bit of tlc.

I had a lovely day in Canterbury and luckily it remained dry once we arrived though like you it was very chilly so wrapped up well! We went by coach and it was quite a lengthy trip as quite a few pick ups but plenty of time for a chat so no problem. On arrival we went straight to the Catherdral (just beautiful and as you would expect very peaceful).  Some lovely individual shops as well as loves buildings to look at and we  enjoyed leisurely lunch.  If it had been warmer we would have done a river trip so may be something to consider if we go again sometime.  We are now planning to search this year's brochure for our next day out!

No farmers'market today so will have to do with the supermarket and then, like you, hoping to mow back lawn (again!) and get starting with the weeding in the back garden having finished the front for now. Have beautiful quince and forsythia blossom out now and its so good to see the sun - just need the temperature to go with it but apparently its going to get colder again before it warms up, heyho.

My daughter and family are taking the boys to local crazy golf today. This is as a reward for their eldest's school report last week which was very good.

Iam off into the kitchen to prepare two huge punnets of Kent strawberries - Market was closing up as we were leaving and they cost just 50p each and are so sweet (definitely will be gone soon!!). Glad to hear Brianitus is ever present and hope you and Mrs B have a lovely day. Take care. Jules x

Just thought I would jump in to your conversation for a minute to say GMorning to you both. I am glad you enjoyed going to Canterbury = its a lovely place, Jules isn't it. What a bargain those strawberries!! Blimey Brian = done the lawn already - you are ahead of me and I must get on with it. Thank you = both of you = for all your support - as my brother says "mum is now upstairs - nagging my dad"

Have a lovely day

Steve

Hi Steve

Lovely to have you drop in and do hope you and the family are doing okay. Your Mum  maybe ' upstairs and nagging Dad' but just think you are 'downstairs' and still using Mum's memories to keep you moving forward.

I do obviously struggle at times with hubby's loss and its especially hard as a Mum to see our kids grieving (and yes they keep trying to protect me as I protect them always) but I have to draw strength from within to take my journey forward (albeit with small steps) as I am truly lucky to have their support and a small posse of wonderful friends both real and virtual keeping me company along the way.

Just getting refreshment going before doing a second mowing (just back from 3 mile walk so need a sit down first) and have stocked up on fruit/veggies for a 'planned' healthy eating week - time to give some of my 'comfort' food the heave ho as facing blood tests for cholesterol in a about three weeks and would be cross if its gone back up.

Hope you having a peaceful weekend.  Take care of each other  Jules x

Canterbury was a wonderful place and I had never been before.  Will be sure to return again but would like it to be on a sunny day!