I was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in later 2024/2025. At first friends rallied round but as time has went on some people have drifted away and never speak anymore yet there are others are always a phone call away anytime and help when they can, which has been a relief.
One person in particular who walked away was a friend of over 20 years whom I considered one of my best or so I thought. To give a bit more background in early 2025 I was going through lots of scans/isolating so I wouldn't jeapordise my surgery (as advised by the cancer team) and preparing for things incase I didnt make it as at time was risk of me dying. My head was all over the place at time.
I missed the friend in question 40th/engagement at the time which I apologised for but they made it all about them, made me feel bad for doing so which I found hurtful and selfish. I was in hospital for almost a month with complications etc and the friend never visited me once or after I was released from there. Later in the year, the day of my birthday, me and the friend had an argument about things about not visiting etc etc, I think they did this for impact. I said at end before it descended further 'let me enjoy my day as it was one I wondered if I would even see this year', their reply was as if did not care. We have not spoke since.
Later in that year the friend in question put a post up about someone else with cancer and raising money for them. I am not berating them for doing so as its commendable but you have to ask where was the concern in regards to me in the past or in general.
Moving to this year, my friend got married recently and I wasnt invited. He always said I would be one of his best men if it were to happen. He posted a picture of him with his best man at the wedding going 'best man, best buddies' with a wink. He knew I would see that expecting a reaction but I havent rose it.
I am disappointed by it all and disillusioned to why I deserved this.
This person isn't the only one whos walked away but it has told me in future who should be in my life and who shouldnt and who I should give energy to and not in life. Even some wider family have not been the best either. I feel incredibly betrayed and become very clinical etc.
Has anyone else been through this and how did you get past this mentally?.
