Hello LINCABE10, 

You've been through a lot in recent weeks and this can certainly take its toll on your mental health and wellbeing. It's normal to be scared that something will happen to your healthy breast but do talk to the experts about your fears and if your consultant is reluctant to remove the healthy side, this might be because they think it is unlikely there will be a reoccurrence there. Ask them all these questions so that they can put your mind at rest and perhaps once you know more about the genetics test, you will be able to see things more clearly and make an informed decision. 

You are very lucky to have such a supportive husband but it is totally understandable that you are feeling so upset - sometimes these things also hit you a bit later once you have been through the mastectomy and treatment. Have a look at our section on mental health and cancer on our website where I hope you will find a goldmine of information including on where to get support for mental health . It might be worth having another chat about this with your GP so that they can find the best solution for you and if you are not keen on taking anti depressants you could see whether they have any other suggestions for you. The important thing is that you feel better soon. I am sure there will be other members of our community who have faced similar struggles as a result of cancer and I hope that they will be along shortly to tell you more about how they managed to improve their mental wellbeing or fought their depression. 

Keep strong - we're all here for you during this challenging time. 

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi Lucie 

Thankyou so much for your information and advice.Ive taken steps to speak to a counsellor with a lot of experience of breast cancer issues so I'm hoping this will help.It a couple of good days then a run of bad days when I know people are in a worse situation and I should be grateful.

Thank you again 

Hi LINCABE10

I completely understand how you’re feeling.

I was diagnosed with DCIS earlier this year and I really struggled with taking it all in. It wasn’t until after my first operation, it sunk in that I’d been diagnosed with cancer. I had a second operation to get clear margins.

Emotionally I have been very up and down. My GP, cancer care nurse and Macmillan support worker have been helping me through the on going emotional recovery. 

I have gone down the route of complementary therapies. The hospital has a wellbeing centre, so I’ve been lucky with that. Breast Cancer Now run workshops to help with moving forward. I have booked in for a couple of those. I was referred by my cancer care nurse to Breast Cancer Now.

My mum had breast cancer too, so my sister has also been for extra mammograms. It’s all a bit stressful, to say the least.

I had no idea I had cancer. I got called back to the breast clinic after routine screening and everything that followed happened really quickly, so emotionally I’m still coming to terms with what’s happened and what might happen. It is scary, but I’m doing my best to take one day at a time. Bit by bit I am coming to terms with the impact it’s had.

I am hoping for the best and am attempting to process everything as I de-stress,

I hope counselling works well for you.

I do understand your reluctance to take anti depressants.

Please get in touch, if that would help.

LOL

X

Hi Jstaves

Thanks so much for responding it's such a shock diagnosis especially without symptoms just a call back I know exactly how you feel.Things have moved on slightly my gp wrote to genetics and I've since had a telephone appointment I feel so much better knowing things are in motion to check for the rogue genes I've also got an appointment next week with a counsellor so I'm hoping she can help give me some coping strategies.I don't know about you but I find one day I feel like I'm less anxious then the next I'm so numb and have no motivation to do anything My family have been fantastic but I keep thinking I should be further forward at this point I walk everyday and do the exercises although Im desperately wanting to get back to swimming but my breast care nurse thinks I should avoid it for infection.I think it may help my mood and my scar has totally healed.I may see my Gp about a macmillan support worker.referral Did you find anything has made a particular difference to you.

Thanks again for replying 

Hi LINCABE10

It’s lovely to hear from you.

Now that your GP has helped set things in motion to find out more on the genetics side of your family history, that’s a good step forwards.

To have an appointment soon with a counsellor is great too!

You are really getting going with some brilliant next steps.

Well done you!

I also have had lots of thoughts and feelings about how I would be further on by now.

I have completely underestimated how much time I need to come to terms with all the emotions I’m experiencing.

In a follow up phone call from the hospitals Macmillan’s support worker, I explained how completely overwhelmed I was by everything! She gave me lots of really good advice.
This included

aim to be calm

take one day at a time

on days I don’t feel so bouncy about getting up, just get up and take it from there

each small step forward is actually a milestone

change my mind set

focus on something in a different place, it could be a flower in the garden or a park, then turn a quarter turn …. to help change the pattern of what is overwhelming 

My cancer care nurse explained that the emotions are like crashing waves and over time them become ripples

She also explained it’s not a straightforward road to recovery; it’s up and down 

Also, when I need to cry that’s exactly what I should do. If necessary go take myself to a room, shut the door and have a good sob.

I spend as much time as I can outdoors, because I find that really therapeutic. I do yoga every day. We have a very cute and also demanding dog. She gets lots of cuddles.

I try bit by bit to do the things I want to and accept finding emotional balance takes plenty of time.

When I’ve done what might seem like a really small step forward I just tell myself… wow…. that was brilliant and imagine having a really good pat on the back…

It’s great that you’re doing so much exercise!

I do swing between moments of being touched by something completely miraculous….how was it possible to find cancer in my breast when I had no idea… to moments of being utterly scared…

I don’t know if any of this helps ….

I’m sure you’ll find a way through 

Your family and the support they give sound amazing!

I hope you can start swimming again, before too long.

I’d love to hear how you get on, if you feel OK with getting back in touch.

Fingers crossed for the future

Take care 

LOL

X

Hi LINCABE10

It is lovely to hear from you! No worries about the time that has passed. I’m just really glad to hear that you’ve found a good councillor.

All the things that you’re putting in place sound as if they are just perfect. In many ways I wonder if we try to get back to all those physical things too quickly. With me it was as simple as walking the dog. I thought I’d go back to long daily walks ages ago. I’m finding new ways to have fun with her,

You’re so right about the physical healing taking place and then there’s the emotional healing, I’m now thinking I need to take my time over that!

You’ve talked about finding the cancer early and I still feel really lucky, but I now understand it’s OK not to feel alright, just yet. I’m really concentrating on finding ways to feel calm. When negative thoughts happen I’m pretty sure that’s just one of those things to work through.

Recently, I was so scared of getting cancer again. I was so upset, that I needed a really big hug that day. Bit by bit I am coming around to a way of thinking that I will live each day as it is. If I ever need to face having cancer again, I will find the help and support I need.

It’s great to hear that you’re going out to meet friends. It is stressful because of every thing that has happened. The first time I went to a cafe was tough, but I got through it. I know my body is different and I keep telling myself that is OK.

There is a charity Look Good Feel Better, that run workshops to help people who’ve had a cancer diagnosis. I went to one on skin care and make up. I enjoyed myself and it felt good to be around others who’d also faced the challenges of cancer treatment.

I hope that the on going battle with our thoughts and feelings, will become something that is doable.

I’d love to hear how you’re getting on with your new spinning bike.

The calm spp sounds really good too.

Wishing you all the best on this journey…

it’s a bit of a rocky road, but we’ll get there in the end… I’m sure!

Xx