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Struggling with mental health 10 years on

WalkingOn
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Hello to you, if you’re reading this. I’m one of the lucky ones and have made it through, now 10 years after first diagnosis and discharged from cancer services. But I’m really struggling mentally. Work is my problem because of my energy levels following treatment. I’m really bored, and I’m fed up of no one taking me seriously. I have a side hustle which I love but doesn’t really pay much and my main job is quite a junior role compared to what I used to do. I think have so much more to offer but my confidence about having the time and energy for a new job just keeps me stuck. I’m nowhere near retirement and am my own breadwinner but fortunately have no dependants. Work has always been central in my life. I’d really welcome any suggestions to turn my situation around. 

  • Hi WalkingOn and welcome to the Cancer Chat community.

    I'm so sorry to hear you're struggling with your mental health and how you're feeling about your work.

    It's quite natural to feel this way if you don’t enjoy what you’re doing but it's great to hear that you have found something you're passionate about through your side hustle.

    I know you said it doesn't pay much, but do you think this is something you could build upon and possibly turn in your main job? If that's not possible, is there an opportunity to utilise some of the skills from your side hustle in your main job? Maybe this is something you could discuss with your line manager? 

    It is quite common for employers to feel nervous of putting too much pressure on someone when they have been through a cancer diagnosis and don’t always realise when it is the right time to review things. I would strongly suggest you schedule in time for a chat with your line manager. Explain how you are feeling and explore your career options. Perhaps they could suggest something more challenging you could tackle to get your creative juices flowing which in turn will improve your energy levels. It might also be worth seeing what other opportunities exist at work such as career coaching, online training courses or perhaps a short-term secondment.

    If you haven't done so already, you could even look at further education, whether that is something vocational that will help you move into a new job or maybe just something you enjoy doing that is simply good for the soul, such as painting or singing.

    If you are feeling low or you feel your lack of energy is holding you back, then do speak to your GP. It might be that they can prescribe something to help you in the short term. It would also be worth asking them about other therapies such as CBT. CBT aims to help you change how you respond to certain situations or emotions. It helps you understand how your thought patterns may contribute to your feelings of depression or fear. It also teaches you how to calm your body and mind. It helps you to control your feelings, think more clearly and generally have a more positive outlook. 

    A lot of time and energy is required when it comes to thinking about career moves and changes and it so easy to get stuck in a rut, so do speak to your boss. You might just find that broaching the subject is the catalyst to making the changes you want.

    I hope this has provided some food for thought and that you receive some further suggestions and ideas from our members soon.

    Kind regards,

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

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    Hi I’m 14 years on and have the same problem, low energy, few plumbing changes that make life awkward and The feeling of being useless as you are doing a junior position but knowing that you don’t trust yourself to be as good as you were is depressing .  I found volunteering gave me my confidence back, I volunteered in many ways, as a fund raiser, a ward volunteer, as an expert patient on various pathway boards and did some public speaking to people about life after cancer, and the difficulties of adjusting to the new me,, finding my new strengths and weaknesses (quite a tough but surprising journey.). I did a few free courses to stretch me and to see how I would cope with learning and retaining new information, as chemo brain seemed to be a constant companion.  I am now working for myself, still doing some volunteering and consulting on what I used to do. It means I’m in charge of my time and can plan good days and rest days. If you go part time or job share with someone else who needs to be flexible that can work well I can go full time for 4 - 6months but then I need the same time off to get back to being stable again. It depends what you do if that’s possible. It also depends on which cancer and what the treatment was as to how it will change things. I was 48 when diagnosed it’s taken me a long time to adjust.  Sounds like you are doing well to be 10 years on but find it frustrating to feel held back and stuck by things you can’t really control. Hopefully you can find the energy to do a few hours volunteering, chose something that you like or want to be involved in, use it as a safe environment to see how things go. Hopefully something here will be helpful. Cheers L 

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