Hello Fenjay

I'm so very sorry to hear just how difficult life has become for you since completing your treatment. I know that many people who have been through a cancer journey will understand what you've described.

As difficult as it is, it's not uncommon to feel so lost and low. You have been through so much since your diagnosis 2 1/2 years ago and when you include the situation and the struggles that you've been supporting your daughter with and the loss of your best friend, then all these things will be adding to how low you're feeling.

I'm sorry that the help you've sought to date hasn't helped. Whilst many people find counselling a good tool to help them move forward sometimes there are underlying issues that we need support with such as low mood. I'd really encourage you to speak with your GP again, or another Dr at the practice. Explain to them just how difficult you are finding things. It may be easier to write down a list that you can show them. 

It's also worth talking with your breast care nurse. Many breast units have access to psychological support and it may be that they can refer you for some specialist counseling that will help you begin to take stock of all that you've been through and find a way to move forward. They will also know what cancer support services may be available in your local area such as Maggies as I do wonder if you might find it helpful to be able to meet face-to-face with others who understand how cancer can continue to impact our lives even after treatment has stopped. 

This is a bit of a cliche and not one that is sometimes well received but I'm going to say it anyway because I know it's true. Life will likely never return to the normal of May 2021 that you hope for. But it can be considerably better than it is now. The question is how do you find that happy new normal? And I honestly believe that for many people that starts with reaching out for support, even if what initially is offered doesn't give us the help we need. 

Please make an appointment to speak with your GP again Fenjay. In the meantime, if you'd like to talk things through with one of our nurses you're most welcome to give them a call. I know they will be happy to listen and offer any advice and support they can. They're available Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm on 0808 800 4040. 

Keep in touch with us here in Cancer Chat. We'll do our best to listen and support you in the process of finding your happier new normal. 

Best wishes, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator 

Hi Becky73

Thank you for taking the time to read my post and for your reply. 

After giving in yesterday I ended up ringing my breast cancer nurse to see if my results were ready. Yes sent out last week and she was able to tell me over the phone that they were normal. Thank goodness. I explained how I was feeling and she's referring me to the cancer psychologist but there's a waiting list. She's also sending me info on a local support group.

Of course I'm so grateful my results are normal and as I explained the weight will lift for a few weeks and then the darkness starts to envelope me again. I hate this feeling. I just want to know how to help myself stop feeling this way.

It's good to know I'm not on my own but I still feel very isolated as all my family and friends just see me as recovered so I should be fine and not say anything negative.

Sorry to hear that your daughter also suffers with the evil of anorexia but pleased to hear she's managing to be away at university. It's an awful disease and it's taken over my life just as much as my own cancer.

I sometimes feel I'm suffering from PTSD.

Here if you want to chat some more.