It’s been one year and ten months since my single mastectomy with silicone implant and I think I’m slowly getting better. I had triple negative breast cancer and did 7 months of chemotherapy followed by my mastectomy in 2021. Last year I had a lot of cording which has been resolved, thankfully. Now I’m trying to still get used to the odd sensations having a silicone implant. I’ve been attending Pilates classes since last year and for some reason I seem to be the only one really struggling to do any exercises where I have to lie on my stomach. 

I’m really trying to improve my strength on my left side after the surgery as my arm and shoulder are still so weak. I find Pilates helps give me much needed energy too which has been good as  I find there are days when I’m utterly exhausted which is baffling as I’m passed all the chemo exhaustion. 

I’ve shared these physical issues with my Pilates teachers but none of them can relate or understand what it is to go through breast cancer and have part of your body cut off. I’ve explained to them that to lie on my stomach isn’t comfortable on a yoga mat as it feels like I’m lying on a hard tennis ball which pushes into my ribs. 

I wonder if it’s just my experience. I’ve googled over and over again to see if there’s a type of yoga mat or cushion to help make these exercises less uncomfortable but there’s nothing out there for breast cancer survivors with just one real breast and one silicone implant. 

My surgeon and my physiotherapist assure me that nothing is wrong with my implant and that all is healed and that Pilates is good for me. I’m still not even sure if I want to keep my implant and my surgeon keeps me in a regular 6 month check up to see how I feel about the implant. Last time I saw her, I said I was getting more used to it but now as I approach another check up, I’m feeling less comfortable with it. I’m not so keen on the twinges of pain and odd itching that I’ve been told is nerves rebuilding themselves. I’m also a bit spooked by the stuff I’ve read about silicone implants potentially causing a different sort of cancer. But I’m not keen on another big surgery and the drains though I feel like I might be more comfortable if I was flat on one side instead of struggling with this implant. 

I’d love to know if anyone has similar feelings or similar struggles with Pilates or yoga when lying face down or if there are any cushions or something to make it easier?