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Advice for mum - struggling with how she looks after surgery

KerryGinny
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Hi. My mum had breast cancer during covid, she had one breast removed and opted for no reconstruction, she was nervous about the surgery and she had to go through it all alone. Now a few years on she is struggling, with the way it looks, being unable to find suitable clothes to make her feel nice and feeling down. I can only be there for her but I can't begin to imagine how she feels. She's lost members of her family to different cancers and she just wanted it gone and didn't even want to consider the surgery. Is there any advice I can have to just make her feel like her again, my strong mum. Maybe someone would know a support group where she can talk to other people that feel/felt the same way, someone to relate to perhaps that has been through this horrible thing like she has. Anything to have my mum back to loving herself as she deserves. Thank you for your time x 

  • Hello KerryGinny

    I'm sorry to hear that your Mum is struggling post-mastectomy. During Covid, many women were unable to have reconstruction or had their choices limited and undoubtedly this will have been difficult for lots of individuals. 

    I wanted to signpost you to some resources that your Mum may find helpful in moving forwards. Firstly there is a charity called Flat Friends which has a number of online support groups and around the country, there are local groups of women that meet from time to time to support each other. I'd really encourage your Mum to have a look at their website and get in touch with them for some advice and support. Their website also has a link to Flatter Fashion which is a great blog that offers lots of advice and tips to women who have had a single or double mastectomy.

    She might also like to consider getting in touch with Breast Cancer Now and asking about their Someone Like Me service. It's possible that they may be able to put your Mum in touch with another woman who is living without reconstruction for support. 

    If your Mum is struggling with all that she's been through and how she now feels then it's certainly worth speaking to her breast care nurse to see if there is a local psychology service that she may be able to access. Alternatively, Maggies is a charity that can support with counselling/psychological support for anyone impacted by cancer and I know many members have found them to be a great help. 

    If your Mum is considering that maybe she does now want to explore reconstruction options then encourage her to get in touch with the breast care nurse so that she can arrange to talk to someone. 

    I hope that some of these links help your Mum to connect with others and to find the support that she needs. 

    Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator  

  • Offline in reply to Moderator Jenn

    Hi Jenn, 

    I can't thank you enough for all this information. I will have a look into these for my mum and then tell her about them all. I'm sure it'll be a great help to her to know there is support and someone else to talk to about things. I didn't realise there was this much support, it's a lovely thing that these charities offer. 

    Thank you again,

    Kerry x 
     

     

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