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Effect on everyones sanity

CLCAC
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Does anyone feel that, even after (hopefully) successful curative surgery, the whole experience leaves everyone involved with a lingering knot of a anxiety/dread,  like you've  been robbed of the carefreeness you had.  I'm constantly freaking out over any + everything that happens & scanning myself for possible 'signs' (I'm sure GP is getting fed up) and obsessing over everything my partner (who had the diagnosis) eats, drinks, feels in an effort to feel we're in control! 
Just never appreciated how this thing changes so much of you and your family.

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    Yes, it changes your attitude to so many things.

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    Hello 

    So true 

    like I jumped in to a new world free now but never really free 

     

  • Offline in reply to laraj

    That's exactly it.  It's like a dark cloud that's lingering on the horizon that you're always aware of.  I was always prone to anxiety, but a generally upbeat person, but I feel like a different person now - less bothered about the small stuff (which is great) but also acutely aware of just how little can be taken for granted.  Xx

  • Offline in reply to Fluffybull

    It does, sometimes in a good way - more focused on family/friends, but equally in a negative way as I'm now hyper anxious and feel constantly on high alert 

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    I feel traumatised by the diagnosis and the care in the past 6 months , it's almost like PTSD ! Each phone call , letters coming through the door panic me. Visiting the hospital is awful and I can barely sit in a waiting room.  Now that surgery is done and an only have hormone tablets from gp you are then just left to get on with things, no contact. There is also a feeling that everyone else is getting on with life and you are no longer in that club and that leaves me feeling jealous of them and detached, even family who have been through the diagnosis with you really dont get it.....the attitude is  treatment is done so all is well, it's a blip and you move on. Don't know how you can tbh as you are changed mentally and scarred forever.

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    This sums up how I'm feeling. I'm now having reflexology which is helping as I am so wound up and agitated. 
    once again support through this website is helping enormously. Thank you. 

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    Hi,

    I was diagnosed in August and going for radiotherapy next week. I really identify with your post. I definitely feel less robust and adventurous. Things I would easily have dealt with seem insurmountable and I find it hard to plan ahead - everything feels like it is on hold. I'm also thinner-skinned than I was!

    It hasn't been entirely negative though. I do feel more able to say what I want than before and it has given me a different perspective on life/work balance so there may be some positive changes as a result.

    In some ways I wonder if it is harder for the partner of the one with the diagnosis? I worry about the impact on my wife, so I try to be honest with her about how I am feeling, good and bad.

    I don't ever think that things will go back to how they were before but I am hopeful we will find a new equilibrium in time.

    Take care.

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