Hi Redski, 

Hope you are keeping well. 
I have just chatted with husband and yep, he's happy to link up, so I will respond to the Personal request (:

NOw , I might add at this point we are total tech slugs (: I am sort of okay, but him, well let's just say his Nokia 'traditional' phone does not do what's app (:.

I will now try and respond to personal message - bare with(:

Hilts

Hello :)

Firstly I'm not sure if you remember but you commented on my post when I was struggling mentally post surgery. I wanted to say thank you, I think of your words even now almost 2 years later.

It's great news that your husband is cancer free for 18 months! I think the mental impacts of getting the all-clear are not really talked about, but definitely echo macmillan as they do support so much. I also struggle with feeling like I will get some bad news imminently/ like I've cheated death and I think it is actually more PTSD with going through everything and trying to just keep powering through.

It's not indulgent at all, you've been the supportive rock for your husband and you have been going through all the same experiences. I actually found the hospital appointments, surgeries, emergency admissions were more stressful on my family than me as I didn't have any other choice and they felt helpless. Give yourself time, support and love, it's not indulgent and you've been through a lot too xx

Awww, how lovely(:-

Thank you for that. I am the wrong age to remember what is said 5 mins ago, let alone on previous posts LOL- but I'm glad it helped- what you said now has just helped me.
onwards recovery goes. He is still disease free- as far as we know , for now. He has just finished 6 session with McMillan- which he found useful, but like he said , there is only so much talking you can do - but chunks and then a break seem to be the way to go. You are right, of course it is PTSD.

I think ultimately time is the only thing that moves on, there is no getting away from the fact it happened and will always be there, but I do feel we are moving on, but like you said, we too feel that 'bad news' is always around the corner- 10 yrs ago we wouldn't even be having this conversation!! Treatment has moved on sooooo much, so we are all having a few more throws of the dice and I must never lose sight of that.

I must be moving on too, as I don't think about it EVERY day now, just every few days , so again a good sign. But boy is it hard (:-

I'm also on here less and less- another good sign.

keep that faith

Hilts

Ps- I just re read me post to you. So good that you are disease free after the 'work'you had done- loads of clapping emoji's

Interesting to 'reflect' we were just of first chemo then, not even had surgery etc, so brain was full of  cracking on feelings- but of course when the dust settles that when the 'other'stuff creeps in

I guess in reality it is superhero costumes for us all

xx