Should I tell my new boss that my mum died?

So my Mum passed away at the age of 53 in January this year from a brain tumour she'd battled for 11 months. After the funeral at the very end of January, we had a few weeks of trying to get through the initial grief of it all and then covid-19 came about and I haven't seen my dad in such a long time. I'm really without him trying to start processing my mum's death. I've started a job (last week) and I'm really unsure whether to tell my new boss what has happened. I'm only 24 and have spent all of last year essentially being mum's carer with dad, watching her deteriorate and eventually pass away. The job is within child abuse too, so it's going to be very stressful and heavy. I just feel like it's something so huge going on in my life that I need to tell them but I feel like they won't care or will think I'm whinging or making excuses for myself. I'm really not sure what to do, it's just quite isolating at the moment feeling like nobody in this new environment knows what I'm battling xxx

  • I'm really sorry for your loss Rach and for the difficult situation you find yourself in at the moment. 

    Starting a new job is always challenging but please don't think anyone would think you're making excuses if you told them about this. Losing a parent is so tough as many of our members here have found out so I'm sure some them will offer their thoughts and advice to you soon but you may find it helpful to get in touch with acas or citizens advice. Macmillan have a Work Support Service so it may be a good idea to give them a ring. You can contact the Work Support Service using the Macmillan Support Line for free on 0808 808 00 00 Monday to Friday, 8am to 6pm.

    It may be worth finding out what your company's compassionate leave policy is as well. You'll find a lot of helpful resources on the CRUSE website which may help you at this difficult time

    Be kind to yourself Rach and remember that our community are here for you. 

    Kind regards,

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator