Hi,

My Mam was in a similar situation - she went home from her hospice for a “weekend visit” but refused to go back.

if you’re determined to do it, and if your Dad agrees, get his GP onboard to arrange his pain relief prescription in the first place - the last thing he needs is unnecessary pain. The GP should be able to refer to whatever services are available locally - MacMillan, Marie Curie, Community Nurses etc. 

Unless your Dad is sectioned under the Mental Health Act, or similar legislation, he can voluntarily discharge himself whenever he chooses - it would be unlawful for anyone to prevent this. 

Good luck!

Dave

PS if he is in hospital he will normally be given enough TTO (to take out) drugs to keep him going until his GP had written a prescription and you’ve had chance to collect them.

The difficulty is that his GP isn't involved.  Basically he is in his 80s and has never been to the doctor or in hospital.  Suddenly a couple of weeks ago he became very ill and basically he has stomach cancer which is rapidly spreading.  

The medication, which he is currently refusing is worrying me.  He had a blood top up today so that should last.  

He has a very short time left and I know the pain needs to be managed.  

He is so unhappy in hospital and wants to get home to my mum who is obviously elderly.

I think I may have to take on the care which will need sorting with work.  I just need to know I can get painkillers for him.

Woo hoo ... well done and high 5 to ya .. it sounded harder then braking out of prison .. but I'm not sure they can stop you calling 999 .. I'd deff get advice on that .. hopefully that's one [@davek]‍   can answer ... 

But good on ya .. I hope your dad gets a week or however long of loving memories with his amazing family ...  vertual hugs all round ...  Chrissie xx 

P S ...

I'm pretty sure they can't stop you from calling 999 ... it doesn't mean he has to go back in .. but if something happens they would have to come out to him ... I'd call it anyway if needed ... don't let them scare you ... the bullies ....  xx

It did seem very strange to me but for him I don't think it would be a problem.  Obviously for many other people it would be a concern.  I may look into it legally as it may be useful to know for the future.  

To be honest, I’ve not heard of that “promise not to ring 999” malarkey before. Besides, Ambulances are run by a completely different NHS Trust under totally different management and staff. 

It sounds like they were doing their best to change your Dad’s mind. It isn’t uncommon for patients to leave against medical advice and a lot of doctors would agree that an acute hospital isn’t an ideal place for end of life care.

I hope you manage to get your Dad’s care at home arrangements in place. Some areas have hospice at home services but coverage is patchy.

Best wishes - I hope you all have a relatively peaceful night.

Dave

Just wondered how it's going ... you know your dad must feel really proud of you ...

It would make a brill film ...  instead of prison break ... hospital break ... sending you all a vertual hug... please let us know how you go ... always here for you ...

Chrissie xx

Hi

Thank you.  It is tough.  I think he sort of thought that being at home would ease his discomfort which of course it hasn't.  He is happy to be home  though.

The practical things that we've done haven't been quite right but we're learning and I'm getting some different bits of equipment tomorrow.

Despite this being such an awful thing to experience I can't believe how much good has also been experienced.  Life is a strange bag of tricks 

Thank you so much for your messages of support and I hope you are okay.  Xxxx

FYI I'm a lawyer, a health worker can't refuse to help if your dad needs medical attention or they could be charged with a crime and or struck off. 

Okay.  That is interesting.  At the moment we can't get a visit from anyone before 8th November which is very likely to be too late.  I am going to the GP tomorrow but with no power of attorney in place, I don't think they will see me.  It's worth a try though as he does need some different medication.   We knew it was a risk getting him home.  

I feel more confident with that information.  Thank you.

Out of interest, does that mean we can insist on a home visit? 

I would go to the GP and be firm. Medical confidentiality can be breached in cases of emergency-incapacity. You can´t insist on a home visit but you can strongly argue for it. You do run the risk though that the doctors will say he needs to be brought back to hospital as the pain cant be managed at home :( I hope your dad is doing ok (and that you are too).

I would go to the GP and be firm. Medical confidentiality can be breached in cases of emergency-incapacity. You can´t insist on a home visit but you can strongly argue for it. You do run the risk though that the doctors will say he needs to be brought back to hospital as the pain cant be managed at home :( I hope your dad is doing ok (and that you are too).

Hi

Thankyou your advice has been helpful.  I did go to his GP and was told he had to come in in 2 weeks for a review!

Once we got past that it seems that there has been a big communication gap.  Emergency medicines should have left hospital with him along with s referral for a range of medication to be administered by syringe.  A doctor did visit my dad this afternoon to apologise for the mix up and fingers crossed his syringe will be fitted tomorrow which means automatic daily district nurse visits to manage the syringe.

They have also crossed out the notes about not being allowed back into hospital but at dads request DNR has been added.

 I dread to think what would have happened if it was just my mum and dad on their own.  

Thank you so much.

Hi ya ..

Well big high 5 to you ... you've been amazing ... I'm not much help on legalities but so so greatfull to @davek  and @Kajena for their wonderful advice ... this is a great  place for help   ....

Let us know how you go .. yes think if your mum and dad where alone, it would have been very different ..Chrissie xx

Will do.  Thank you.

Really happy to have helped someone at a time when I feel so helpless.

Hope things are going ok with your dad and that you get some special times together. You are a great daughter <3

You have been extremely helpful thank you.  For people like  me who really don't have any idea of which way to turn it's been fantastic to find support and practical guidance on this site.   You really could never be considered helpless as just a small amount of help can make such a massive difference to someone else. 

I really hope you are receiving the support that you need.

Xxx

Hi there @Kajena 

You know wer here for you too .. I know it's a busy site .. but please don't feel helpless ... we all hold each other up in hard times ...

Vertual hug to you too ... Chrissie x