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Time off to care for dying mum

Izzysmum2011
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Hello, and thanks for taking the time to read this.

My mum has been battling lung cancer for around 5 years and we are now 4 months into a "short" 6 month sentence following extensive small cell diagnosis with liver mets.

The issue I have is I have an 8 year old daughter and live 60 miles from my mum, and ai started a new job 3 months ago.

I am beginning to feel like the end is not far away and feel that regardless of work I want to go be with her and look after her. She has a partner but he doesn't live with her, and he also works and has caring responsibilities for someone else. My grandparents in their 80s are making the 50 mile round trip daily to make sure she is eating and ok, but I want to do this for her.

I suppose I am just wondering, has anyone been in a similar situation? It's awful not being able to tell work how long I expect to be away, as I feel it will be in the next couple of weeks, but obviously I want it to be longer and I'm no psychic so it may go on a while.

I'm still in my probationary period at work, and have waited a year for the job, but if they let me go for this then it's not a company I want to work for anyway.

Sorry for the waffle, there is just so much to think about and I dont know quite what to do, as it's all lost in the fear of losing my beautiful mum.

Any advice gratefully received.

Thanks x

  • Offline

    Hi lzzysmum 

    If you packed in work, are you OK money wise, or could you find a nother job after, that you'd like better, I think that's the main things, there are jobs around just weather you like them,, good luck whatever you decide,. 

    Billy 

  • Offline in reply to Billygoat

    Hi Billy

     

    Yes and no. I'm the sole breadwinner. My partner is at home doing the school run with my daughter (he is her step dad) and looking after the house as I have fibromyalgia and struggle. He also has 3 kids of his own who live 75 miles away, so he has them during the holidays, which saves a fortune in childcare.

    I know there is a pot of money that mum has, and that could potentially help me keep the house going if I were to lose my job. I would have to speak to my mum and see, as its the difference in her being able to stay at home like she wants to or having to go live with my elderly grandparents or hospice.

    I love my job, but I work in an accounts office, so I can't risk being there and making mistakes because I am worrying about who is taking care of mum and feeling awful that it's not me.

     

  • Offline in reply to Izzysmum2011

    This is the side of cancer most people don't even think of.  If your Mum agrees to you using the pot of money (it makes sense to use it now) would you be able to take a sabbatical from work.

  • Offline in reply to tonid

    I made the decision and came to stay on Friday. Mum is actually improving a bit with her eating having someone with her 24/7, and she is so much more comfortable now I am here with her. 

    As regards the pot of money, she has said she would rather I have it now to keep my house afloat whilst caring for her than for it to go to carers who she wouldnt trust, so the right call was made.

    I know I am exactly where I need to be and if my job is lost in the process then so be it, there are other jobs and more important things aren't there! 

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