Financial abuse- taking advantage of mom’s vulnerability

I don’t know where to begin. Mom is palliative care lung cancer patient remaining at home. It’s been 12 months since her initial diagnosis and we have had a rollercoaster of a ride with it. At one point Mom had her last rites - twice in one day...another time we’ve left work to go and be at mom’s side as it was thought she wouldn’t last the day...in her delirious states we’ve fought back the tears as Mom has ‘spoken to’ loved ones who have already passed away or who are no longer part of the family.

Throughout all of this, according to all those around us - family, friends and professionals - myself and my siblings have done remarkably well in caring for Mom. And my goodness, yes we have.

Lately, however, things have changed since my sister has insisted on getting paid for caring for mom.

We are all at loggerheads and things are not pleasant between us & I’ve had to raise a Safeguarding concern with adult services re financial abuse. The latest being that my brother has taken the key & log book to moms car & sold it. 

We were a close family prior to this. 

I do despair. 

  • Hi there ...

    Well loosing a parent, can bring out so many hard feelings, and end up with a once close family falling out ... I was one of the lucky ones .. us three daughters, never had a cross word over money / things left .. and it just left us with a deep hole of love ...

    The only thing I would say, is maybe your sister needs some help, as maybe the hours spent with mum has drained her, financially and if I were you, find out why .. there should be a carers allowance anyway to help with care ... and selling the car under your noses, should have been discussed together ...

    Maybe a get together, to discuss how anything to do with finance is always made between you ... if you don't find a way forward you may all end up like a lot of families and burn those bridges ... a car is just a car.. and mum won't be using it .. and should have been split between you all ...but try and talk and LISTEN to each other ... here's hoping it's not to late ...  Chrissie  x