Hi Pop90

Just read your posts yes it is hard going . especially as you have toddler any playgroup or nurseries near to give few hours free time I know another thing to sort out .I dont write things down byb I do use this forum and asvadv is always here .I use bowel cancer forum more as mine is advanced palliative treatment bowel and liver probably in operable.i started 2nd lot of chemo yesterday had break since January show good response both tumour but liver ond grown back little nasty .I find writing on here does help .had one councilling session at beginning I didn't find helpful to have stranger tell me n hubby why we felt like we did we know answer that one .I know they will offer councilling again see how I feel .MC millan phone for chat that's ok no face to see sympathetic smile .I have given up work at moment but meet regularly for coffee or meal with colleagues that's always nice .hope .do you drive I'm still able to drive short distance so that gets me out.hope you have some good days .I can't have alcohol as it's liver .nurse gave me details of wellness spa center local to me but there all across UK .for help with make putting on eyebrows etc and freebies she said it's available to all women with cancer I didn't know that thought was just for breast cancer ladies so may try that and no's for wigs etc blah blah I have gone on bit .but didn't sleep last night was too hot and brain too active needs settle again xx

Hi tiger cub, 

I'm rather lucky, I got my son into a nursery after the easter so he's settled in to that rather nicely and I get 3 hours break from running round after him, he is very much a mammys boy.

I had one counciling session but didn't feel it helped, going to give it another go and see what happens but don't feel like I will open up very much. 

So far I feel I bit better talking to people on here as they have gave me some good advice I just need to put them I to practice I guess.

I'm luck I can still drive for now so been to see the horse I use to ride and can let everything out to her as she doesn't answer back to me, just eats away at her hay net haha. 

I've never looked into anything like as there are worse people out there than me, I feel like I just have to cope with it, if you get where I man coming from. 

I'm not sleeping great at the minute as my leg has flared up from the radiotherapy, really itchy and burning right in my groin so it's very hard to get comfy, don't think that's helping my mood much. 

Got my clinic review soon, so hopefully get some sort of cream to help with that.

Thanks for the help, will return the favour if I can in anyway. Hope you mange to get some rest and your chemo goes well this time round :) 

Hi Pop90

Thanks for reply yeah talking to your horse sounds good don't talk back .we have teddy bear we had him over 40 years kids never played with him so still in good nick we talk out load to it loads crxxap we tell this bear sits on bedroom window sill so see him at night and morning .I feel able drive still and hopefully always will is godsend having to rely on buses and lifts would be awful still got independent .good luck at clinic review tell them as much as you can 

Hi tiger cub, 

Thanks for getting back to me again. Some days I wish she could but better for her not to I guess. Sometimes you can just babble away for hours with no judgement looks.

I'm starting to struggle a little with driving a little bit, my leg is starting flare you with the treatment and it's rubbing something rotten. 

Clinc went OK, didn't given me much help with the pain but I've only got a week left. Hopefully get my head sorted with that.

Hope everything is going well with you and your bear is listening well 

:) 

Hi Pop90

I think maybe docs and friends etc think you had surgery so everything must be ok now which clearly is not case .I don't know if I'll ever have surgery docs tell me I'm complex case thanks that's made me feel lots better not .but I probably won't sleep good tonight got so diy enema tomorrow for preparation for camera up lovely way spend my birthday didn't try chenge appointment just need it done 

Hi Pop90

I think maybe docs and friends etc think you had surgery so everything must be ok now which clearly is not case .I don't know if I'll ever have surgery docs tell me I'm complex case thanks that's made me feel lots better not .but I probably won't sleep good tonight got so diy enema tomorrow for preparation for camera up lovely way spend my birthday didn't try chenge appointment just need it done 

Hi tiger cub

My surgeon has be really good, thankfully. Think I hit on lucky to be fair. He's been on my side with everything and spoke to me like a human and not just a patient. 

Ooh that's not great on your birthday, but I suppose there is no point in putting it off like you said. I still can't sleep great. My skin is starting to break with the treatment and is itchy like hell. But this doctor for my radiotherapy isn't as nice as my surgeon. (two different hospital unfortunately)

I hope it isn't to bad for you tomorrow. Hope to speck to you soon, if you want too and you manage to get some rest. 

:)