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To everyone on this site

woodworm
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Hi friends

 I know there are many people on here suffering the effects of cancer, some directly and some with relatives who have cancer and many more suffering from the loss of a loved one. I know many of you are not looking forward to Christmas or knowing you will not be able to enjoy it as it used to be. It always seems worse at this time of year and I know some of us see other people enjoying this time of year and we cant help but feel a little enviouse. I lost my mother just after Christmas a few years ago and two years ago I lost my father just before Christmas. Even though It will never feel quite the same again, I know they would want me to enjoy this time of year and I feel most of your relative would feel the same So I will try to enjoy myself even though it will be a subjude enjoyment.

I would also like to thank everyone for the shared help that they have given over the past few months. Also I would like to thank our wonderful moderaters and nurses and all the behind the scenes personel who help keep this forun running for all they do during the year.

I will be thinking of you all over the holiday period and wish you all the best time you can have, Brian 

 

Parents
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    Hi Brian 

    Thank you for your kind words, I lost my husband in may after a 12 month battle with cancer & although I have had wonderful family & friends around me, I have found Christmas & new year very emotional, my mood has been very up & down, I miss him so much, & like to talk about Dave,  but sometimes I can see from faces that they find it uncomfortable,, but to me we had many years together, so it is natural to talk about shared experiences, I wish people were more understanding with grief. 

    I hope you & your family have a good new year x

                                             Belle 

  • Offline in reply to Belle99

    Hi Belle,

    Thank you for your reply and your kind words.

    I too find people dont understand how to act when a relative or friend has lost a loved one. It is almost like they feel we should forget them which is totally unreasonable. The problem is until you have been through that experiance personally, it is difficult for others to understand. But in fairness I have to say it doesnt mean they dont care ; it more the fact they dont know how to respond

    Of course you want to talk about him for he was such a big part of your life. Talking about your loss and how it affects you is a big part of the grieving and also the healing process. We cant just wipe all memory of them out of our lives. Nor should we. 

    If I were in your shoes, I would say to them, "Look, I know you may feel uncomfortable about me talking about my loss, but it helps me to talk about my husband". 

    I have not lost a partner like you have but I have lost 12 members of mine and my wifes family and we have always felt free to talk about them and what they meant to un and it does help.,

    I wish you all the best and anytime you want to talk on here, there are lots of great people who will reply.

    Take care, Brian 

Reply
  • Offline in reply to Belle99

    Hi Belle,

    Thank you for your reply and your kind words.

    I too find people dont understand how to act when a relative or friend has lost a loved one. It is almost like they feel we should forget them which is totally unreasonable. The problem is until you have been through that experiance personally, it is difficult for others to understand. But in fairness I have to say it doesnt mean they dont care ; it more the fact they dont know how to respond

    Of course you want to talk about him for he was such a big part of your life. Talking about your loss and how it affects you is a big part of the grieving and also the healing process. We cant just wipe all memory of them out of our lives. Nor should we. 

    If I were in your shoes, I would say to them, "Look, I know you may feel uncomfortable about me talking about my loss, but it helps me to talk about my husband". 

    I have not lost a partner like you have but I have lost 12 members of mine and my wifes family and we have always felt free to talk about them and what they meant to un and it does help.,

    I wish you all the best and anytime you want to talk on here, there are lots of great people who will reply.

    Take care, Brian 

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