My husband is undergoing intensive DA Epoch therapy and although tough going he got through to the end of round 3. Then he became septic and neutropenic at home. I had left him to,go to work until lunch time as he didn't have a temp and said he would stay in bed. I got home and opened the bedroom door and I thought he had died. Longer story cut short after the ward told me there were no beds and after his temp went up to 38.4 I bundl d him in the car and got him to hospital where he was taken by ambulance to the beatson cancer centre. 

Since then I have been signed off from work for 4 weeks and today I did not want to collect him and bring him home. I did of course but I was honest about it. I'm terrified of not being able to get the emergency care he may need in the future. I think I am in a state of shock and I wake up in the night with the image of his face that horrid afternoon. I just wanted to write it down.