Offering support at a distance

My father has recently been diagnosed with advanced oesophagael cancer. I live over 250 miles away and I'm devastated I'm not there to help or to offer support to my home. I'll try to go home at weekends when possible but it's a 5hr drive and it's not possible to just pop round on a regular basis. 

Has anyone else been in a similar situation? How did you manage? What support can I offer from a distance?

Thanks in advance.

  • Hi RachelH. I was thinking maybe you can make use of the internet and telephone to keep in touch with him. Can you get telephone numbers of his friends and local people that you could contact and ask to pop round to check on him, keep him company or make a cuppa for him and a chat.? there is silverline for elderly to chat and have visits and outings with. ester rantzen runs it. Is there a local support group for this type of illness, maybe he could contact them. Hope some of this may be of use. good luck.
  • Hi RachelH

    My Dad was diagnosed with Oesophageal cancer a few months ago too, they initially thought it was operable but found some in his liver, his secoind cycle of chemo landed him in hospital for the last week with sepsis so no idea what the next step is now - I sympathise with your situation as I live a 70 odd mile round trip from my Dad and he doesn't like me visiting while he isn't at his best, he wants to protect me from the situation I think, so yes I haven't actually visited my parents in a while and I don't want to go against his wishes, I just keep in touch with him via text and social media to ask him how he's doing and to ask him to let me know when he is well enough for a visit.

    I've said exactly the same as you about how frustrating it is not to be close enough to pop in for ten mins here and there so as not to be too demanding of him when he has been so poorly and so tired.

    What I wouod give for normality again when I used to spend whole saturdays every few weeks with my parents, have lunch with them etc - cancer makes you apprecoate the simple things in life that you suddenly don't have anymore. Feel free to chat with me anytime x

    Jules