Hi Tinytears71

Sorry to read about your mum. This must be a very stressful time for your family. You could call our nurses for advice. You can contact them on freephone: 0808 800 4040 from Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm, I hope someone will be along soom who has faced a similar situation and can offer you some support.

Welcome to Cancer Chat.

Jane

Hi tinytears-71

My brother has pychosis & schizophrenia so I do have some idea of what you're going through.  You could ask the Dr to put you in touch with your local mental health crisis team, they'll access your Mom & decide upon the best treatment to stabilize her so she can have her chemo ...   Or contact MIND on 0300 123 3393 info@mind.org.uk.  All the best x

Hi tinytears-71,

What an awful and complicated time your poor mother is having.This must be dreadful for you.

Infections, generally, can cause "psychotic symptoms" all by themselves. I've no idea where the leg and abdomen swellings fit in, possibly a development of the bladder infection?

Incontinence isn't generally associated with mental illness, it's more usually either a physical or neurological condition that seems to be the cause. Hence, [I'm only guessing] the need for an MRI brain scan. The medical team might be wondering if there's some kind of physical manifestation in the brain tissue. At the worst a tumour related to the ovarian cancer. Maybe it's just the infection isn't completely healed.

Stress, fairly obviously, can trigger psychotic symptoms in people who have a vulnerability to the schizophrenic family of conditions. (There seems to be more than one form of schizophrenia). A diagnosis of ovarian cancer is a pretty extreme stressor.

I'm not sure what you mean by "confused". (I once became concerned about a lady who used to visit the community centre I ran. A psychiatrist visited, hoping to assess her. She wasn't there at the time she'd agreed to meet us.When I told the psychiatrist she was confused, and explained how this was exhibited, he said that it  sounded more like a reaction to an infection than a mental health problem. [she did have persistent mental health problems as well]. We couldn't get to her in time and she died of pneumonia, alone in her flat. Seems the psychiatrist was right).

Amidst all that there is the perfectly normal reaction to having a diagnosis of cancer. I don't know if you've ever come across the (is it five?) stages of grieving that a researcher (Elizabeth Kubler-Ross) identified in people with terminal illnesses? They are {I think I remember}  1) Denial. 2 )Anger. 3) Bargaining. 4) Depression. 5) Reconciliation.

Your mother seems to be fluctuating between denial and anger from what you say. Maybe her refusal to accept some tests also seeps into bargaining. She might think that if she leaves the condition alone it will leave her alone. The anger stage is typically misplaced; there's no response from being angry with a cancer but a husband, daughter, nurse or doctor might respond to anger and that seems to bring people some kind of relief.

So, with the possibilities of: reaction to infection: underlying mental ill health: neurological damage caused by some kind of insult within the brain tissue: or a perfectly normal response to an extremely stressful situation (or any combination of these) it will be hard for anybody to know what's going on for your mother.

I have loosely similar experiences and some idea of what it's like when somebody you know and love stops being themself without you knowing why.

There's very little you can do except what you are doing which is being there for her when you can.

If you can hear a bit of advice I'd say look after yourself and your children too. Try not to feel guilt about things you can't change, and try not to make yourself ill by attempting too much. I would guess that your (healthy) mother wouldn't want her situation to cause problems for her grandchildren or you.

I hope your mother has an extensive and well integrated team around her including nurses, psychiatric nurses, an oncologist, a physician, etc. I hope they will make the time to include you and your Dad and Sister in their plans and ideas.

I hope you find the strength to come through all of this.

Best wishes,

Russ

Thanks Blanket - I will speak to the doc about that today! xx

Thanks Russ -  they ruled out the infection scenario the first time she was admitted on A and E. There was a build up of fluid in her abdominal/pelvic cavity which was drained off three weeks ago when she was more lucid which has helped the swelling in her legs,feet considerably, it was putting pressure on her circulation. We are meeting the doc this afternoon and hope to have the MRI scan booked (she has to be transferred to a different hospital in order to do it under sedation). At the moment I don't know which is worse, knowing that it might have spead to her brain or knowing that she is suffering from a mental illness. It's really worrying that she might not be well enough to have the chemotherapy, and that if it is due to underlying mental illness that it could take months? to treat,,

Whe we first had the consultation with the doctor - just under four weeks ago regarding the chemo treatment - the prognosis seemed very positive in that it would be simply three course of chemo followed by a small operation (if needed) afterwards. I just can't understand how in three weeks she can have deteriorated so rapidly.

I hope the doctors can come up with something positive today.

thanks again for the reply xx

Hello tinytears,

I'm so sorry to her about your mum.  The stress and anguish you are under must be enormous.

My mum died years ago of cancer when she was in her 60s.    In the few weeks before her death she also became very confused, agitated, aggressive and suffered from delusions and hallucinations.   Initially we thought it was her medication but during the course of her illness her mental health continued to deteriorate rapidly and we assumed it was because the cancer had spread to affect the brain. She also came in and out of lucidity.  Her primary tumour was in her kidneys.

I'm sorry I can't bring you more positive news and I hope the prognosis for your mum is better.  The only thing that brought me comfort at the time was that I had the ability to spend a lot of time with mum.  I gave her a lot of hugs and tried to reassure her whenever her delusions/hallucinations were overwhelming her.  At the end I was the only person she recognised but I don't think she knew I was her daughter.  I know you have children to look after and it's terribly difficult for you to spend a lot of time with your mum but I would say the more time you can spend there the better for you and your mum.

Many hugs.

Jan x

Hi tiny tears

I am sorry to hear about how you and your poor mom  are going through this

My dad died 10mths ago of cancer .In the 3/4 months before his death he became very confused, agitated, aggressive and suffered from delusions and hallucinations.

He really was a different person. I am not trying to frighten you but he had tests and it was because the cancer had spread to the brain.

Maybe its something you could ask the doctors? Dad was put on a couple different medications that helped greatly  with hallucinantions/delusons

My heart goes out to you, it is a terrible time

Geri

x

Hi Jan

Thanks for the reply and sorry to hear of your loss, trying to keep strong is so difficult and seing her in this state is hard to bear. Still waiting on the scan news from yesterday xxx

Hi Geri

Thanks for the post and I am so sorry to hear about your dad. I can only  I am hoping that whatever the results of the scan that mum can have some medication trhat will bring her mental state better, also we found yesterday from the bloods that her liver test showed some abnormality which does suggest that it might have spread. The  waiting is so difficult and the not knowing what is happening... xxx