Hi,

I am 31 & fighting kidney cancer, i was browsing through this site & came accross your message & my heart really does go out to you.

I am so sorry to hear the sad news about your mother.

Although completely different circumstances as my mother did not have cancer, My mum very suddenly passed away at the age of 45, 6 years ago now.

It knocked me for six at the time as it was very unexpected & she was so young, as I am the eldest had to arrange everything & like you felt that I had lost my best friend & indeed I did because there is nobody that will ever take her place.

I was diagnosed with cancer in February of this year, very young to have Renal cancer as apparently its usually in older people, I have three young children & I am on my own & would do anything to have my mum by my side to have seen me through this as she would have been my rock.

People probably say to you "Oh it will get easier in time" & your probably thinking that it does not feel like that at moment.

My experience is that it does get easier in time because you learn to adapt & have no choice but to move forward as that is what your mum would have wanted.

There are times when you will feel so lonely & miss her like mad but it's a funny thing, I feel that my mum is allways with me, (& i am not a greatly religious person, in fact if there is a God i'm a little annnoyed at him at present for the hand he has dealt me) but she created you so will allways be there with you, & at times you will feel that & may understand what i mean, it's hard to explain but you will do or say things in every day life & your mum will pop up in your head because it may have been something that she would have said or done.

Sorry for rambling on just really feel for you & what I have said probably wont help much because only time makes it easier to deal with & everybody deals with loss in different way's, there is no time limit or guide on how you grieve we deal with it the best way we are able to.

I rarely speak about my mum because it's too painful, this is probably first time in 6 years that i have spoken about how i feel & cope & it is to a stranger, if you have a good family try to speak to them, sometimes we are scared to talk to each other because we are afraid of upsetting one another as we are all feeling the same loss but you may find that they feel the same way as you, by not speaking about your feelings you are never releasing them, you have to let them out in order to deal with them. I have a fantastic life coach that taught me that & it is so true.

Stay strong, You will get through it I promise but one day at a time.

Tae

Hi,

I am 31 & fighting kidney cancer, i was browsing through this site & came accross your message & my heart really does go out to you.

I am so sorry to hear the sad news about your mother.

Although completely different circumstances as my mother did not have cancer, My mum very suddenly passed away at the age of 45, 6 years ago now.

It knocked me for six at the time as it was very unexpected & she was so young, as I am the eldest had to arrange everything & like you felt that I had lost my best friend & indeed I did because there is nobody that will ever take her place.

I was diagnosed with cancer in February of this year, very young to have Renal cancer as apparently its usually in older people, I have three young children & I am on my own & would do anything to have my mum by my side to have seen me through this as she would have been my rock.

People probably say to you "Oh it will get easier in time" & your probably thinking that it does not feel like that at moment.

My experience is that it does get easier in time because you learn to adapt & have no choice but to move forward as that is what your mum would have wanted.

There are times when you will feel so lonely & miss her like mad but it's a funny thing, I feel that my mum is allways with me, (& i am not a greatly religious person, in fact if there is a God i'm a little annnoyed at him at present for the hand he has dealt me) but she created you so will allways be there with you, & at times you will feel that & may understand what i mean, it's hard to explain but you will do or say things in every day life & your mum will pop up in your head because it may have been something that she would have said or done.

Sorry for rambling on just really feel for you & what I have said probably wont help much because only time makes it easier to deal with & everybody deals with loss in different way's, there is no time limit or guide on how you grieve we deal with it the best way we are able to.

I rarely speak about my mum because it's too painful, this is probably first time in 6 years that i have spoken about how i feel & cope & it is to a stranger, if you have a good family try to speak to them, sometimes we are scared to talk to each other because we are afraid of upsetting one another as we are all feeling the same loss but you may find that they feel the same way as you, by not speaking about your feelings you are never releasing them, you have to let them out in order to deal with them. I have a fantastic life coach that taught me that & it is so true.

Stay strong, You will get through it I promise but one day at a time.

Tae