I've held it together through a stage 4 diagnosis, remission, radiation and mastectomy. My husband was with me every step, or so I thought! 

14 months on from diagnosis and a glass of wine and I found the confidence to feel sexy. I didn't expect sex, I just wanted....

And I'm alone on the sofa feeling bereft and disgusting and oh so much self hatred. My husband is a lovely person and I want to defend him but......

Im crying alone on the sofa.

I've had a lifetime of low self-esteem and this seems to cement it.