Hi [@Veroni1]‍ 

It can be very hard after Breast Cancer not to think the worse each time, I too am not a year past my treatment, I had my surgery September 2020, it was a slow recovery and I wouldn't touch my breast for months afterwards. In February this year I did need to go back and have a mammorgram because I was having an issue in the same breast as cancer but not anywhere near the original cancer, I was so anxious about how painful the mammogram would be, yes it was slightly more uncomfortable than previously but the nurse was great and really helped get me through it quickly. It felt so horrible to be going back there so soon after surgery and I am not sure now if because I was seen in Feb whether they will still book me in for an annual follow up. I recently saw my doctor because of something else and she found that my armpit on the opposite side was really really tender - eye wateringly so - and asked me to contact the breast clinic as I am still under their care and it would be quicker for me to go direct... I think I am just going to wait to see if I get called in for an annual check, but it is just so unknown all the time now. 

Our minds can't help but go back to what we have just been through and it is a ride we never seem to get off. I really hope that your team will be as gently with you as they were with me through your mammogram and that it won't cause you any great discomfort. 

Thanks for your kind words.  It is scary  isn't it. And as you said you can't not go back to the first diagnosis and imagine the worst. 

  It's there for life now 

Honestly have no idea what this lump is as it's not painfull unless touched  I do get the odd shooting pain but I know that could be nerves healing from the scar area. 

Please don't wait untill you get ur refferel , as  I was originally scheduled for my yearly mamagram in April which I attended , but as I asked the girl there would it be painfull as I had only finished radiotherapy she was surprised and went to check if it was ok to have it , she then came back and said I wasn't to get it after all as it was the yearly appointment they sent out after the last one which was automatic and wasn't updated that the last one had found my cancer , so with you ,you may not get that yearly one now having already had one, so u could be waiting a long time. Best take charge of it  and make that appointment . Better safe than sorry  imo. 

Let me know how you get on Kay , I would like to keep in touch through out our  diagnosis process. Xx

Hi [@Veroni1]‍ 

When I explained to my breast nurse about not even wanting to touch my breast and that the numbness of the surrounding tissue still hadn't gone, she encouraged me to get used to feeling how it is now, the numbness has finally subsided and I am now able to check it and am used to how it feels now. I occasionally get the odd pain and uncomfortable feeling from it settling back into normalacy, I still sleep with a pillow between my chest to ease it.

When I went in Febrauary they did check that I was able to have a mammogram as it had only just been 6 months since they had found cancer in August, so I did think then that maybe they would delay the annual one, but when I spoke to them the other day they asked them if I was booked in for an appointment and I said I hadn't heard anything yet, I was waiting on having some bloods done through the docs so they said to wait until the results from them were in and then phone them back. So it did sound like they were assuming I was going in shortly regardless.. 

I think for a lot of people, that when they get diagnosed with Cancer and then on the road to recovery everyone around them just stops talking about it as they just see it as all over, scare done and dusted. But for those with the diagnoses it doesn't end and the scary thought of 1 in 2 people will get Cancer a shockingly high number, we just live in it continuesly. Just waiting and wondering and really not wanting to go through it all over again.

We are just at the point where we think it is all over and your hair growing back and treatment over and trying to find that peace of continuing to live normally and then it chucks something at us...

It will be great to hear how you get on also I hope your not waiting too long for your referral...

Take Care x

Hi Veroni,

Nice to hear from you and really pleased that although you have had a bit of a rollercoaster you have now had your mind put at ease. 

I have not heard anything from anywhere yet, I have just had my one year anniversary of when I was diagnosed, and next month will be my one year anniversary since surgery, so whether that is when I hear from them, I really don't know.

My doctor took blood from me last month to check me for Lyme's disease as back in June when I had been bitten by some sort of insect I have still not receoverd from it, so I am just feeling like, oh come on, what else are you going to chuck at me.....

Hopefully fingers crossed I will have my mind put at ease soon too...

Take care and keep in touch x 

Kay, I believe we both are about the ßame here. I just celebrated my 1 year diagnosis  and on the 4th Aug it was a year from my op. September 23rd will be 1 year since my first chemo. It has in a way flown in. In the spare of 2 months I went from having cancer to not having it lol.  My fingers are crossed you don't have lymm disease just a stubborn healing process due to everything you have been through. Keep me updated pls.  We can help each other out as we kicked cancers ***. Xx

Hi [@Veroni1]‍ 

Really sorry Didn't see this reply come through.

I haven't signed onto here for a couple of weeks though either, When I struggle in the real life I don't tend to spend anytime on the internet. I don't use any social media, as I can't be bothered trying to keep up with a fictional life when real life is hard enough.

The first tests I had for Lymes has come back negative, which is good in one respect, it just means we don't know why I am feeling how I am, and sometimes I find it easier to know why I feel like ****

********************** Below is a rant I had to get off my chest, so feel free to scroll to the bottom!!

I was looking up today when I should be re seen by the breast Clinic, I am now a year past my diagnoses and 10 days off my first anniversary from having surgery, but I have not heard anything from anyone, I thought that you would get phonecalls or appointments or some kind of check up.

When my Doctor (gp) saw me a couple of months ago, she felt how tender I was in my armpit and said about referring me to the breast clinic, I was the one that had to tell her I was still under their care from breast cancer, so she told me to call them to make an appointment, when I told the breast clinic, they said because it was in the opposite side to my cancer they weren't concerned and wait and see what my bloods showed.... But even the Breast Care nurse asked if I had an upcoming appointment and when I said no, she was "oh", I thought from that it might kick start one, I just don't even know what to do anymore,... sorry I am venting here and just writing very quickly getting it all of my chest, so please don't feel you need to respond to this, it is just really good to have somewhere that I can get this down and off my mind without starting a new post....

I don't particularly want to go back, I certainly don't want anymore treatment, but in the same breath I would rather know if there is or isn't going on, especially as I am noticing the same signs I did last year when I was first diagnosed, I think maybe it's a year on and I am just getting antsy, maybe I just need to hear a year on I am in the clear or not!! It is a bizarre feeling and my mind isn't getting dizzy with wanting to know or not wanting to know....

phew..

How are you doing??? How is your pain?

xx

Hi. So sorry its been a good while  since been on. Listen your rant is exactly  the rant I have too. Since my cancer in 2020 I have not seen my oncologist since 2021.    I have had to go to my gp for refferels to have lumps checked after the  one mentioned above.Turnd out I have 2 sarcomas. 

Still attending for my bosphorus  I fusion every 5 months however last month when there the lovely chemo nurses noted that from the last time there (6months)  I had lost nearly 2 stone without trying. Im Now having a battery of tests . Had chest xray  ultrasounds bloods. Xray came back in 2 days and I was sent to  have a ct scan of chest.  I'm all over the place. Has my cancer come back  ?  Is there any chance I'm just losing excess weight.

Since last month I have also gone down from 82 kg to 77 kg. I'm eating everything easter eggs galore lol

  Sorry I've had noone to talk to honestly as can't say this to family as they keep saying it's probably nothing . They have no idea what is going through my mind. X

Sorry.

 How are you doing .please let me know. X

Hi [@Veroni1]‍ 

So nice to hear from you, I haven't been on here for ages, I get that feeling of dread, and it being easier to talk to someone else that already has those same feelings so can understand that mix of emotions you are going through. What a shame that you are back on that worse part of the rollercoaster of tests and unknowing. 

When do you get your results back? At least they are taking it seriously and getting the tests done.

Since above I have had my annual check ups and In February I did get my two year all clear, so Breast Cancer at least for now is over. Although unfortunately for me, my body hates me and have not been able to leave the house since February due to another heath problem, it was a weird feeling to have some relief after my check up, to then something else going wrong and back to waiting on test results and whether I need surgery.

The waits do seem so much longer now because of the strain on the NHS, and as much as I support them and can't knock them for the care they have provided, it is still horrible when you are waiting on appointments and results and the emotions and fear you have to go through.

Please let me know how things go.

xx

Hey how r u. 

I'm sorry to heat your under the weather after getting the all clear.  I think its been the strain of having cancer and then all the mess and stuff we go through that throws our bodies into meltdown.  They never show this side of cancer in movies. Well non that I have seen. U see them getting all clear and wham they act like it didn't happen.  ( remember Carol in eastenders ? ) well week one has past 3 more to go b4 I get my results. Its so nerve wracking   and then u have family telling you they r there for you buy they don't understand what goes through our minds. At least I have an older sister who has gone through the same as me. She had to have chemo first to shrink her tumour whereas I had surgery first.  But she was a  great help through the original cancer as we both had the same type in the  same place . We both had chemo radiation  therapy   she came out of hers suffering  fibromyalgiq.

Please keep in touch. I'm here if u ever need me  to rant and rave at or have a laugh lol . We can be of great help and support to each other x take care talk soon.