Do not think anything can prepare a person for a diagnosis of cancer. My symptoms weren't particularly serious  so to be told Stage 4 inoperable put me into denial shock and a mental block. This was in Feb so whirlwind of appointments. Unsuccessful 1 session Chemo ended up in hospital so no more so radiotherapy. Side effects started after and hoping will improve every day. But main reasons for post is I am feeling so vulnerable that I am now feeling scared that I won't get enough support with pain relief and still so many unanswered questions. Which I know they often cannot answer but even a little snippet of hope is grabbed at. They say ring if you have queries but then either they can't answer as you have to wait for consultant to call on appointed date or brush away your questions. McMillan telephone service is brilliant but at the end of the day I need to feel my medical backup help should be better. Sorry to waffle on but realise when at home I am pretty much on my own and know have to basically grow up and get on with what's happening to me. I am lucky to live with my daughter and my daughters and friends are so supportive but at the end of the day it is up to me to snap out of this negativity and so am getting out of bed, getting dressed an going to see my mum who is an inspiration to everyone as she is 91 today an a survivor of bone cancer 9 years ago an had her leg amputated up to thigh. Also my stepdad who is 94 an survivor of bowl cancer 4 years ago an had stoma bag so if they can go on living at home an still I get 2 calls a day asking how I am, I realise I need to kick myself sometimes. So will fight this vulnerability as hard as I can. Keep strong everyone