Hi,

Yes I've had docetaxel, Herceptin and pertuzamab. If you have hit a mental brick wall now, please be aware that the docetaxel is harder stuff! Brace yourself for it by being kind to yourself. If you need to spend that entire day in bed, do it! When you start having the Herceptin and pertuzamab minus the docetaxel, it gets a hell of a lot easier. Then, you will see the light at the end of the tunnel. You've just got to get through the hardest bit first.

Wishing you well.

Thank you so much for a response.

All the medical professionals have told me the next chemo will be a lot tougher (which is scary). I haven't been too bad with side effects from the EC so I'm expecting to get hit with a whole load from the Docetaxel, I just cannot get my mind in gear to get myself ready for it, which isn't like me at all.

If only I can get my head back in the game and get focused on that finish line I would be a lot more prepared. I'm getting so mad at myself.

Amy x

Hi Amy,

Personally I feel the same about how the first half of the chemo went. However, maybe it's this, your body is fighting hard even if you've managed to get away with little side effects so far, so your body is tired. Maybe that's why you can't get your head in the game? If you can find a way to accept that, I know it's hard. I really honestly feel that going through cancer is all about being disciplined enough to accept your feelings and sit with them even though it's not nice to do so. I believe that's how you get through the trauma though. You have to kind of feel that feeling whatever it is and say I see you and I understand why I am feeling this way. It's perfectly acceptable and understandable and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Keep thinking as you have been, your half way through then think back. Question yourself, did those first few chemos really take as long as I thought it would to get through?

Trust that easier times are coming x

Thank you for your advice. Everything you said does make sense and I need to get back focused. I'm under no illusions that the next stage will be the hardest and I need to get my mind and body prepared as best I can.

My partner is so unbelievably supportive and I feel as though I am being a burden on him (even though he constantly reassures me I'm not). I'm usually the one taking care of everyone so I need to learn to be the one to be taken care of for a change.

I see that you have finished your treatment now (minus the Tamoxifen), congratulations. I have hope things will get easier.

Amy x

Hi Amy,

I'm right there with you. Just had my fourth run of docetaxel, caboplatin, pertuzumab and trastuzumab. My consultant actually said (bragged?) that he is well known for dolling out harsh treatment, I won't get in to how I feel about that. I won't lie to you, I'm suffering and it's not easy. I too consider myself a strong person and I realise how good it is that my cancer is so treatable but I have started feeling very sorry for myself some days. The side effects I've had have been slightly different each time. This time I'm enjoying vomiting up all proteins. I have had a bleeding nose since I started and I'm absolutely exhausted and food either tastes awful or of nothing. Hair fell out ages ago and I am almost grateful not to have to look after it at the moment. I only have two chemo sessions left but even that is really hard to face. I will say that I feel pretty okay for a full week each cycle and not too bad for one of the weeks, it's only really a week of misery each time. 

I would like to say also that, after speaking to other people in the day treatment unit, I now take my energy and optimism from knowing how very lucky I am to have a good support network. It makes a world of difference and it sounds like you are also very fortunate in that regard. 

I completely agree with what has been said, it's really helpful advice. Sometimes I get down on myself when I feel like I'm cracking but I think, for my mental health, I need to just accept that even though there are loads of people worse off than me, it's still okay to just feel what I'm feeling, even if it's self pity.  It's only for one week out of three after all and what we're going through can be completely awful.

I don't know if that's helpful. I hope you get on alright, be kind to yourself. 

Hi Riot

Thank you for your response. It is really helpful. I'm starting to feel a bit better but am very apprehensive with what's to come.

I spoke to my oncology nurse today about what to expect of the Docetaxel, Pertuzumab and Trastuzumab. Obviously time will tell which side effects I experience and can only hope for the best case scenario. To be honest I'm very scared of the injection I have to administer and the bone pain that comes along with it.

Can I ask how have you found the injection and the bone pain? Is it just as debilitating as people say?

I do, like yourself, have a great support network so am very thankful of that. I need to learn that it's okay to lean on them a little more and not feel like such a burden.

It is comforting that you say for you it's bad for only about a week so hopefully that will be similar for me, fingers crossed.

Amy x

Hi Amy,

It sounds like you're starting to get your head around it. I'm glad to hear that. It is really hard to sit and let my spouse do everything around here so I know what you mean. I'm sure your family knows you will help out when you can. I'm just going to buy him a nice weekend away with his mates when this is all over! 

The injections only really had a noticeable impact for one night in the first round, bone-pain-wise.  I have slightly sore joints today but not the worst thing I'm dealing with today.  Giving myself the shots is something I dread each time but actually I always feel a bit silly after because it's nearly painless and very easy. Takes seconds. It's just the idea of adding more to the mix that actually bothers me. It's impossible to tell what is causing each of the side effects, it might be taking more of a toll than I realise.

Really wishing you the best. Take care. 

Thanks so much Riot, you've actually put me at ease a little more knowing you haven't found the injections too bad. I guess I'll just wait and see how it all goes.

What a lovely idea getting your partner a weekend away, I better get my thinking cap on and come up with a special treat for my partner when all this is over. He completely deserves it. 

I hope you get through your final rounds of chemotherapy as best you can, almost at the finish line now.

Wishing you all the best also.

Amy x