Hi. I was diagnosed with anal cancer tumor and cells on the 8th December and possible testical cancer tho I need a ultrasound to confirm..  I got to have 5weeks of radiation therapy and chemotherapy everyday Mon to Fri weekend off.  I started the treatment and within a week I withdrew my consent for treatment as I just couldn't cope with it and I don't feel ready to 100% commit to the treatment plan. I know that I will have to do this treatment tho I just can't get my head around it all. 

Can anyone please give me advice on to how to deal with the chemo tablets and it's side effects, what is the best way to mentally get ready as I do want to get the treatment done but living on my own and have no family or even friends to turn to its difficult to get movivated and stick to it.  What are the best foods to eat to minimise the sickness when taking the tablet's. 

Sorry to ask I'm just so emotionally drained and each time I think about re starting treatment I feel sick and panic and then shut down from thinking about it. It's like I can't deal with it at all.