Hi 

I'm sorry that's happening to you. I had bc in 2005, had mastectomy and reconstruction a year later. I know how you feel and it is upsetting but I know from my experience you will b OK. As u say u are getting the important part done to get you well again and its reasurring mentally, so you can have a healthy happy life again. There are lots of things to wear so no one will look at you and even know. I remember going on a sun holiday with my kids before I got reconstruction and just the feeling of being well and healthy is the most important thing, and you will get ur reconstruction eventually. I hope that helps you in some way.  X

Thank you for your reply , I know youre right and hopefully I’ll get there soon just struggling at mo :happy: 

holidaying was something I thought I won’t want to do so to know you felt confident is reassuring although tbf covid has put a stop to holidays too for now .

Thanks x

Sorry to hear you're going this Vikki, that's really tough.  You're right it's not fair, you've been through a lot already. 
 

I had mastectomy without reconstruction last year as found my breast cancer was back on 23 March (yep the day we went into lockdown!). At that time it was unclear if cancer surgeries would still go ahead but I was told if it did, it would be without reconstruction. I really struggled with that the time, worrying how id look, the thought of being lopsided, how I would feel in myself, if anything the lack of reconstruction seemed more of a worry than the cancer being back. Crazy right. 
 

I was one of the lucky ones who managed to still have my surgery in the midst of Covid and I was so surprised about how ok I felt after the op. Even the day of the operation, seeing it for the first time, it was nowhere near as bad as I had predicted. I think I'd created this image that meant I wouldn't still be me. I was given a bra filler after the op but to be honest I've hardly used it, if I'm wearing a baggy top I often don't even need to bother with a bra but if Im wearing something tighter, wearing a bra itself normally does the trick. Imagine that depends on what size you are but for a 32C it's been fine! 
 

I was told that I would be able to still have a reconstruction in the future, but at the moment I haven't opted for that. Remember that it will be an option for you though, just because it's not now, it doesn't mean it's not ever.

I know my experience is just one experience but I think I would have found it comforting knowing that it can be ok.   Hope the surgery and recovery goes as well as it can do.