I was told I had cancer mid May 2020. I didn't ask my family not to say anything, but was shocked to discover that mid first lockdown my father met my neighbours on a dog walk (we live a 20 min drive from their village, so that was unexpected) and he told my neighbours full details of my cancer diagnosis! They both work in the NHS and more fully understood the seriousness of my diagnosis than my parents, but thankfully didn't relay that to my father. Still, some lovely flowers and choccies came my way My parents told goodness knows how many others since, but it hasn't been too intrusive.  I've decided not to be upset by what can seem to be clumsy actions/words. Rarely do people say and do things to hurt on purpose; perhaps that's their way of dealing with something that scares them and, I think, they often feel they're helping. The important thing is to make sure that you're not bombarded with bonhommie messages that you don't want -if that happens, block them!

I'd have said I'm a 'glass half empty' person and very cynical, but dealing with cancer and how that affects my teenagers, husband, parents, siblings etc. I've realised that I'm a very positive person. It's not easy going through surgeries, chemo and RT, especially during a pandemic when you're on your own, but I try to focus on what's going well and I'm sure staying positive helps. Don't get me wrong - if the consultant told me that being a miserable cow 10 hours a day would help, I'd do that! I've always been told to look for the light amid the darkness and, maybe, you'll see a rainbow. Always thought that was very trite, but now find it quite comforting.

I suppose I'm saying 'cut them some slack', but I do understand how hurtful it can feel. I just said that I didn't want to be called every 10 minutes by every family member, so made it my mother's job to field the calls! That'll teach them