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Breast cancer may have spread to brain. Feeling depressed

Denise1977
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I was diagnosed with breast cancer stage 4.I was on weekly Taxol since August 2019 and doing well untill recently.few weeks ago i lost the capability of holding a pen  and got very wobbly on my feet.So my onco booked me for ct scan and for mri brain.I am really depressed.I dont want to do radiotherapy to my head.I read horror stories about loosing hair and not eating.I am only 43 but had enough.Once its in your brain its over.Cancer messed up all my life.I feel people are right about quality of life not quantity. 

 

I am thinking to stop any further treatment.rest of my life in the hospital? I dont think so

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    Hi Denise, 

    I've messaged you.

    Kerp going. I know it's awful.

     

    Ceyenne x

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    Hi Denise. Logged on after a few months as been busy in garden. I am in exactly same place as you. I had VAts procedure in November 18 which was successful I was told. Also had spots on my right lung which I wasn't worried about. Have seen my lung consultant on regular basis and he always asked me didi get headaches. Which I didn't, but about a month ago after spending lockdown making my garden beautiful (in my eyes anyway) started to loose energy and had a few weird moments then I started getting pain in head .just for seconds but fierce pain which actually woke me from my sleep. Consultant words if you have any worrys ring Wendy my cancer nurse which I did on Tuesday told her about pain and other incidences which I hadn't told consultant about as they seemed irrelevant. I am now waiting for urgent MRI on brain and like you feel devasted. Deep down do I know? Just the thought scares me silly. I have kept details of my cancer tomyse!f past few years asI would sound like a moaning Minnie but this I will have to let them know due to symptoms which could happen.

    I do hope you have someone to share your worries with. Please keep eup to date with what happens and I will do same

    Xxx

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    Hi moonpuddle thank for the reply.i have the scans next week. I only hoping is only neuropathy from Taxol.i didnt talk to my medical team because they are pretty useless. The only think they did for me when i was diagnosed in may 2019 its hospice.!!!Excuse me i am only 43 and i have husband who will look after me if its brain mets.I only enjoy my work which i dont want to.give up.And counselling doesnt make me feel better it wont cure my cancer.Sorry i dont mean to be rude.

    I am just beeing fed up with hospitals and doctors

  • Offline in reply to flissy100

    Hi flissy thanks for reply.i have scans Tuesday and results on Wednesday.i will post an update.

     

    Take care

     

    Denise

  • Offline in reply to Denise1977

    Hi Denise - hope you are good - Great you have scan - I have mine Wednesday - shall we talk? - post? - Thursday - or at any other time - managed 4 hrs sleep last night so feeling good I think

  • Offline in reply to flissy100

    Hello i am not feeling very well.Feeling really stressed.i just want to give up.i have been on chemo since August 2019 and this one kills me.I want to quit my job and just to die at home i cant imagine myself to have a radiotherapy and then chemo.i already lost my right arm due lymphoedema.I just dont want to suffer anymore.

     

    Denise

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    Hi moonpuddle i am already on antidepressants and my GP wont see me face to face due to covid.So i have been left all alone.My husband is here but keeps saying its nothing wrong with me.Nothing wrong with me?i cant use my right hand,the pressure stockings are useless.My only joy was work but seems i have to give up. I wish i didn't open my mouth at least the doctor wouldnt make to go for a mri scan and to be pricked with the needle which is very painful.

    Anyway thank you for your kind words but i am afraid nothing and nobody can help me.

     

    Denisa

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