Hello!

I was so sorry to hear of all you have gone through and how desperate you must be feeling.  I can understand how much you want to go home but I think hospital must be the best place for you at the present time otherwise you would have been allowed home.  If you had gone home on the 24th chances are you would have been readmitted anyway. I sympathise with you about not being able to see your family.  You didn't say how old they are.  They might be very young in which case it must be awful not being able to see them.  If they are adults I wonder how they feel about you being in hospital.  If you went home would they have to look after you?  If so, they might feel that you are getting better care in hospital with everything on hand in terms of investigations and treatments. You say you haven't seen them.  Have you asked somebody if they could help you set up a video call?  They might be able to arrange that for you.  You didn't say what treatments you are having but sometimes they can make you feel down.  

Reading the beginning of your post I could hear how distressed you were when you wrote it but at the end it was heartening to hear that you are trying to be as positive as you can be.  Well done for that!  I hope these few words will help in some way.  I wish you well again soon.

(I write as one who had a similar op in May last year but lost my ovaries and lymph nodes as well.  Fortunate to be feeling completely well now and able to cope with the new challenge of lockdown!)

Hi thank you for replying, I'm 33 and my children are 11 and 12. We video call daily it's just so hard not being with them. I know I'm in the best place to get treatment and be healthier. The doctor told me today I was seriously ill when I came back in. I'm on antibiotics (flucloxacillin) at the moment orally as can't have any more cannulas as they are too painful for me. Honestly haven't even thought about the cancer since being in here. I'm Having bloods done daily to check my infection markers are going down, today has been a little set back as can't draw any blood so have to wait for the dr to come do it for me. I'm feeling a lot stronger been going downstairs to get some fresh air and walking unaided for longer periods so I'm just praying my blood counts are going down in the right direction and I'm one step closer to home x 

Hello!

Sorry to hear about the problem you have with cannulas and that you have to wait for the doctor to take your blood daily.  It's not nice.  It was good to hear that you are feeling stronger and that you are getting more mobile by the day.  I remember when walking was an effort but little by little with practise it will become normal again and you will do it without thinking.  I too pray that your blood counts keep going down and that you will be home again soon.

At 33 you are a few years younger than my younger daughter.  It seems very unfair that you, along with others, should have to be going through this and worse still during this pandemic.   I will be thinking of you.  It is good to talk even if it is only in this manner. x

Hi, just thought I'd update you and let you know I'm now home. I had to go into hospital the second d time round as I developed sepsis the dr said. I'm still in the wars and very uncomfortable but feel so happy to be home and with my children. Have to see my consultant today about my test results and whether I will need chemoradiation. Thank you for replying to me it helped just typing what I've been through out. I'm going to speak to my Macmillan nurse today about speaking to someone as I feel like I've been through hell in the last 3 weeks but hopefully I'm on the up now xx 

You're home!  That's wonderful news.  Thank you for letting me know.  It was no problem replying to your post, in fact it made me feel quite useful.  I know I am a lot older than you but I can still understand and sympathise with you about what you are going through. I hope you got good results today and can avoid chemoradiation.  It's good that you are going to get support from your Macmillan nurse.  I don't know why I didn't think of mentioning that to you before.  Mine was a good support in the early days and I only had to call her a couple of times. It was enough to reassure me and give me confidence.  Stay positive and keep in touch if it helps.  All the very best for the future.  I will be thinking of you. X