I’m really sorry to hear that you’ve had to go through all of that. I have a different type of cancer, NH lymphoma. Like you, I had 6 rounds of aggressive chemotherapy alongside steroids to try and shrink all of my tumors. I completed my last round I’m March and was told I was in remission. But last week, my routine scan showed enlarged lymph nodes. After a biopsy I was told my cancer is back. This time Im being given an experimental targeted chemotherapy drug that apparently has a higher success rate than my first course of treatment. I understand that this is likely more expensive. But I hate the fact that I had to go through six months of hell when there was a drug that had a higher success rate and almost no side effects. I feel like all of the chemotherapy was for nothing, and that even with all those drugs, my body still wasn’t strong enough to get rid of it. Obviously I can’t relate to the struggles of breast cancer, as it’s a very different type. I just wanted you to know that there was someone else who knows the frustration of going through so much only to find out that it was all for nothing. Hope you are doing ok and get the surgeries you need soon.

Hi, sorry to hear of your disappointment and lack of success with your treatment. It sounds like you are going through same emotions as me. It's not nice at all.  I just wish I was told that it may not work, as I would have gone for mastectomy in first place. But, I was told that it was a very high success treatment to have, and that in most cases it completely disappears. They even put a clip in my tumour as said if it completely disappears the clip will enable them to pinpoint where to remove margins. So, to hear that my 6cm tumour after horrible chemo it has only shrunk to 5cm but had holes in it was a bit of a shock to be honest. I'm worried now as I've had this tumour for over a year now. In July last year My GP told me my breast pain and lump was nothing to be concerned about and was due to my bra wire digging in and causing the lump. When I noticed a change in shape of breast 5 months later in December I went back to docs and another GP urgently referred me. It was a large cancerous tumour and had spread to my lymph nodes, but hadn't spread to anywhere else. I'm worried all this delay now means the cancer has spread to other areas. I'm feeling frustrated and a little angry to say the least. I've even had my scheduled op delayed another week. I'm imagining it just spreading more and more everyday. I'm hoping it hadn't spread and just want it out now. 

I've just had another worrying thought. After my mastectomy I really hope I don't have to go through chemo all over again. I couldn't do it. The last 5 months of chemo were awful. I will be seeing my surgeon next Tuesday. I'm praying he'll give me positive news. 

I know how it feels to be terrified of your own body. I hate waking up everyday knowing that my own body, the one thing I should rely on above all else, is literally killing me. I’m terrified that my cancer is spreading too. I have a cancer of the blood so surgery or radiotherapy isn’t an option. Chemo is the only way, which sucks because chemo is an absolute hell that I’m dreading going through again. The doctors are taking ages to get my treatment ready because it’s such a rare drug they’ve had to apply for me to have it so it could still be weeks until I get my treatment. They are leaving me on my own to fight an extremely High-Grade and aggressive cancer until they can get the right treatment. I feel worse every day, I know it’s spread to lymph nodes in my stomach because it’s the same pain I had last time, but my consultant just told me it’s constipation and prescribed me laxitives but no constipation is this painful and my bowel movements are normal anyway.

I cant wait until I’m finally cancer free. The thought of having cancer in my body gives me the absolute shivers every time I think about it. Having cancer the second time is worse. 

Hi

so where are you at now please as I've been suggested the same plan as you but with drugs after and I have to say I'm battling this chemo as it is ! I ve asked for lump removal and will be pushing for it Monday even though my surgeon said he can't fit me in until mid November my radiologist and I decided against the clips procedure Wednesday just gone as the one lump was so painful that we agreed it would be painful for my face down mri breast scan Friday just gone and I also told her im not sure if any of this and im disappointed that surgeon can't take lumps out till mid November and she said that's not right mid November ? No that's not right I ll go and get him now But he had the day off so she said im seeing him tomorrow and I will tell him of your concerns !!  That was -1st September 2021 so, im waiting for his call and if he can't take the lumps out I ll find someone else who can si I m completely am with you on this and I've worked on the Nhs amd in Marie curie end of life care and nursed family with BC and my mother had it and refused chemo and she survive for a good quality of life for another 15 years 

I squashed my left breast in the door then my bra wire was stuck in the other part of my breast so I'm convinced this has set this cancer off but I'm sceptical of chemo and other drugs being suggested so I am pushing for lump removal 

hope you have recovered from this xx