Hello nic219,

                     we humans are very perverse creatures, and tend to overthink everything rather than just accepting that what we have in front of us is exactly that.

As to your question,l think everyone that has gone through cancer has the same thoughts at some stage but will overcome them eventually in their own time and way

l remember walking aound in a real fug feeling sorry for myself and saying "why me"but then immediatly turned it around into why not me ,since l would not wish this upon anyone else, that sorted that issue out from that point.

 Going forward and never looking back was easier thanks to the other patients l shared my treatment with.we all tried our best to pull through,sadly not all of us made it,and l know that those who did not would swap places in a heartbeat.We all encorouged each other at the time and l feel l have to give my best  to each and every day, l like to think they sit on my shoulder on my journey than on their own that they could not make.

                            You will find your own reasons for going forward,that is another side of our nature,just try not to give yourself too harder time in doing so.

 l hope your results come back as good news and your honeymoon and new life gives you the joy and happiness to dispel gloom and despondancy,

best wishes,

                     David

ps--my image for my post was chosen to reflect my outlook on life---unbridled pleasure despite any of lifes little obstacles, just as the phunta pictured,living for the moment, try it ,its great !