Anxiety about my mum

I'm having a really bad day today. My mum has stage 3b lung cancer and has just finished chemo and radiation. She will likely start immunotherapy soon. The oncologist was really positive and said that they're aiming to cure her cancer and that immunotherapy boosts survival. However she's seen people being cured of the same cancer without immunotherapy.

Today I've been reading online and have made myself even more anxious. There's so much mixed information. Some sites say that stage 3 lung cancer can be cured, others say that it can't. There also seems to be quite a lot of hope with the immunotherapy.

I'm scared that the cancer will still come back with immunotherapy. I read that 90% of people without immunotherapy have the cancer come back with a year and that immunotherapy makes it come back 3 times the time of that, so it doesn't make it stay away forever. I don't know I'm really confused. The doctors seemed really positive about my mum. My mum is being treated at a very good hospital. 

I'm scared as 3-5 years survival is not good enough. The doctors haven't given us any time frame of how long my mum will have or how many years left. The oncologist said that using the best treatment and immunotherapy will help boost her 5 year survival rate but I know that statistics on cancer aren't usually done past the 5 year survival rate. Does this mean that my mum could have a lot longer?

  • Hi there ..

    Oh my, your thinking all the "what ifs" and think it's making everything seem overwhelming right now ... but the thing I've learned sinse I've had my grade three breast cancer... is everyone is different ... every treatment varies a tad .. some can look like they have the same cancer and treatment , yet one will be so called "cured" or cancer free is a better word for it, another will loose their fight ... 

    Nothing is written in stone ... no one can give you for certain how long any of us have ... the way I've coped, is taking every day as a bonus .. living in that day .. not doing the "what ifs" coping with problems as and when they pop up .. not before .. l try to make as many good memories as I can ... weather I have a day / week / month or years... it's about making the most of every day ..

    No one knows if they have tomorrow... cancer or healthy ... anyone can be gone in the blink of an eye... so everyone should just be greatfull for today ... then not one day is waisted ... yes we all get down days, where we feel scared .. but it's about feeling like that, and letting yourself feel down, but then get back up and fight another day ... sending you a vertual hug.... Chrissie xx

  • Hello.

    It's no wonder you are anxious, anything to do with cancer is so hard to deal with. Naturally we look for the best and the worst outcomes. My late husband had the same diagnosis as your mum. NSCLC stage 3b, T4N2M0 but we knew from the outset that no treatment would change anything and we were looking at months of which we managed 6. He had 4 short bursts of radiotherapy to try and keep the tumour at bay and give him  a decent quality of life for his remaining time. Because your mum has been able to have trearment and it appears to be working means that his medical team must be optimistic. 

    Please try and not think about survival times, I would have been so pleased if my husband had lived 3 or 5 years from diagnosis.

    As Chrissie has said, none of us, healthy or otherwise knows what or how long our future will be. We have to live in the here and now and take things day by day.

    I wish you and your mum all the very best and  I hope that her treatments continue successfully and you have many more special times.

    Lynne,x