Hello Mrs Mac,

Welcome to our forum, although I'm sorry to hear the reason that you're here.

It sounds as if your poor dad has had a tough time in the past 3 years. It is a difficult time for you and your brother too, particularly when you are only being told what he wants to tell you. Can either of you persuade him to let you accompany him to see his consultant next week? You could explain that cancer patients are always advised to take someone with them to their appointments, especially when they are going to discuss tests results and treatment. You might persuade him if you mention that many hospitals are cancelling all chemo treatments for the time being. This is because chemo weakens the immune system and makes it easier for the virus to attack.

I understand that it does seem to be normal procedure to have a number of operations for stomach cancer. You are scared, but I expect that your dad is even more frightened.

I nursed my mother when she had secondary cancer. Following her primary breast cancer, this metasticised to her liver, lungs, bone and brain. She didn't talk about it much at first, but we found that she gradually opened up to as, when we started asking her some searching questions.

The only other way that you could find out more is to take on power of attorney for your dad. You may find that he doesn't want to do this if he is such a private man, but it can be helpful to have this, so that you and your brother can make decisions for him, if he ever gets to the stage where he can't decide for himself.

I sincerely hope that you manage to find some way around this heartbreaking situation and, that you get to know more about his prognosis.

Do please let me know how you get on next week. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx