You dont need to keep the happy face up have a screaming fit tell people how scared you are but never give up hope and fight this ****** with everything youve got. Then carry on as usual  put your trust in the medics as you haven't a choice and if its not what you want to hear just do the treatment and carry on. I was there a few years ago so know how you feel i now live my life as if today might be my last  and i make sure i enjoy everything i do. Get rid of everything negative in your life and concentrate on you.

Good luck with results sending you all my love x