Hi shelly, have you noticed marj is very cruel to me, if she got a chance she'd blame me for the weather,, did she tell you she's writing a proper book, i won't comment about it she might find out where I live,, lots of kisses... Billy
Hi Marj, congratulations on the birth of your granddaughter. Bless her having to go through all that pain. Her emotions are normal, a lot of people are like that when they first have a baby.
it does sound like quite a potent drug, but it's my only option anyway, once that's stopped there's nothing for me unless a trial comes up.
i read on your other post about it nearly killing you, bet you were petrified. It definitely sounds like it works well, been reading reviews about it and a lot of people said it's worked well for them, it's just the side effects.
How are you anyway? Hope your ok, aren't you on any chemo at the minute.
anyway take care Hun and thanks for replying to me.
Hi shelly no marj's a good girl most times, she really is writing a book she's seen the publishers just tidying it up, no idea what about going to ask her soon, if you're sure plenty of hugs and cuddles, hope Peters not watching lots of love and kisses XXX, some more hugs nnnice.... Billy
I think marj is sleeping again, hopefully hear from her soon I've left message for her about the book, or she could be looking her daughters new Born for a while,, hope your OK this morning and Peter is out the way just popped over for an early morning cuddle and hug,,,. Xxx.... Billy
Hi Shelly, did I put granddaughter, oops what I should have put was grandson. I was looking after my granddaughter who will be 2 on the 18t of this month. It certainly is one nasty drug believe me it is. Yes it did almost lol me, Macmillan came out on a Wednesday morning, she called my GP within a hour she had phoned to have oxygen in the house, a hospital bed god knows why I had to have the hospital bed, I do really but I have a very comfortable bed. They have a policy that whilst you are alive you have to have a hospital bed with a air mattress. So she was just following procedure. It’s judt if you you don’t have it they would have taken me to hospital to die. Honestly everything was literally delivered within a hour. I can’t remember s great deal I kept slipping in and out of concousness. I did over hear them tell my husband I give her to the weekend and as if tomorrow end of life team will be coming in. I was unconscious at that point and I remember myself thinking like hell they are not putting a syringe driver into me. My apologies if you know what one is. It’s a box some can hold up to 3 different drugs some can hold up the 5 my brother when he passed away he had 2 lots of Threea in him they are attached by IV into you. One thing he made his wife promise not to havr him sedated but she did the cow. So I knew I had to wake up. *** me I did too. When the end of life team turned up and I said well you can turn back round because I am going know where. Was I scared truthfully Shelly no ii wasn’t not really scared at all. I perhaps think it was because for a good few days I was so ill I was praying for death to come I was in such a mess absolutely hell. At the time I remember almost begging to die as well as praying. But once I overheard end of life team where coming in. It was like someone flicked a switch I just knew if I could no come round syringe drivers where going to go in. It’s perhaps seeing my brother likes that then hip passing away I should have spoken to my husband Mick about not having them we did not. It took me a couple of years to get over that drug. It’s left me with short term memory problems dropping things,,pains in places I didn’t know I had lol
Anyhow I died a knee I immunotherapy it had only been approved on the Monday when I saw my consultant on the Wednesday he offered it to me he told me he was rinunnog trials, which he does do lots of trails with himself being a professor and a worlds top cancer researcher in his own right. So I spent 7 months on the trial drug and had to pull out. I just couldn’t take anymore of anything lit shrunk the tumours. I have the cancer whizzing around my body because I burst one of the tumours coughing h couldn’t help keep coughing, once one burst it’s literally a race against time due to the cancer becoming leaking blood and they definitely do not want it in your blood at all. Too late in my blood now. But hey things are what they are. I have been hear almost six years longer than anyone ever belived I would be. I now give a lot of bloods and biopsy’s to cancer research Uk it’s there’s once it’s left me. Some goes America, Canada, Germany what’s left stays in England they are trying to replicate so its will give people longer. I may never actually ever know. I also joined a PEACE TRIAK. That just means after my death they can take as much or my organs they need or want. It’s not like I will be needing it anymore. So if it’s helps them to getting one step closer to finding a cure then I am really ready to help. Regarding an I an any treatment m. That’s me and only my choice. So Shelly as you can see Billy is saying a write a book he’s not far wrong so far ha ha ha. I am actually writing a novel too. It’s something I always wanted to write a book. I have wrote it some publishers have read it. I am making some changes and I am now typing it on my MacBook. It’s a psychological thriller. It’s about a serial killer, a police officer and a psychologist. Mainly they are the 3 maiin characters plus obviously the killer. A body is found on some waste ground make. He’s been killed elsewhere. A DCI Chris winters is assigned to the case as senior officer in charge ( SIO ) after months of netting Jessica on another case who’s a medical psychologist. Also a criminal psychologists. She and Chris are also in the processing and arranging their marriag. Their are 5 all nailed vitinns and they all have something in common I promise to face a real twist to the ending. That’s all I am saying about the book. I saw Billy had mentioned it lol. I have said no now to having any further treatment. Had 2 lots of different chemotherapy and one type of immunotherapy. The immunotherapy was dioing a good job of killing the cancer. How I am I can sometimes just fall asleep I don’t know Ivan doling it. I have woken to find my face in my dinnerZ or spilt a coffee, when I have been sleeping in it also with my Pjs wet through. When I get mine that, it’s becoomore often. When it happens no one can actually wake me up either. This how I am is not living it’s existing only. As I said I have already told them no more. It’s taken me ages to write this today. I am in a lot of pain and so so tired. No it’s not what I call a crash down it’s because I haven’t been sleeping well st all. It goes from one extrem to another. Right Shelly I will write again soon. I just realised I must read your profile where you out about when you tell people about yourself, anyhow, oh I will just say this no I am not horribly to billy, I see his post sometimes and him taking the pi... so I send him a book message as I have done you today, I just laugh because I think of every thing that pops onto my head. Deliberately sometimes. I am laughing my head off though. It’s judt run generally I am a happy go lucky type of person and yes even with cancer. I do have the off day now and again I think we all do. I am having one of those days today lots of liove Shelly and write soon hugs xxxxxx
Hi Billy, ok thanks Billy. Bit late but thanks for the cuddle, it was nice.
Got pain either in my liver or ribs hurts when I move or breath and there's a crackling sound. I'm going to ask if anyone knows what it is. Hope your feeling a bit better today.
Hi Marj, I can't believe what you've been through, omg how did you cope. I was giggling when you said the end of life team walked in and you told them to turn around and walk back out, bet they couldn't believe it. You've definitely had a rough ride, so sorry for what you've been through.
Its probably my fault I put granddaughter, I probably seen granddaughter and just had it in my head that was the baby, how's mother and baby doing? Hope her depression has settled down.
i think it's great what your doing giving blood and then yourself for them to do what they wish. Need more people like you. I'm going to do the same.
Your book sounds great, you'll have to let me know when it's published and I'll buy one. I read every night when I went to bed, only the last few weeks I haven't, that's cause the last few books I've read I haven't even finished them cause they were rubbish lol.
Billys lovely, he's going through a rough time as well, I'm so glad I found this forum, it really helps to talk to people going through similar things to myself.
i wanted to ask you if you know what this is. I've got a pain in my right side it's either my ribs or liver, pain really hurts when I breath in and it's making a crackling sound and I can feel it when I put my hand on my ribs. I'm going to put it on the forum as well to see if anyone else knows what it is.
Anyway I think your a really lovely ladie and you don't deserve to be going through all this, as do any of us, but think you've had a bit more of it.
Hope your not feeling too bad and speak soon. Big hugs.
What do you mean late it was 6.00 this morning, i wanted to catch you in bed and surprise you, feeling OK thanks, no idea about crackling I'm afraid you haven't got a packet of crisps in pocket have you, afraid no idea sorry, have you still got drain in if moved could cause problems hope you get sorted soon love.... Billy
