Hi Denise,

I’m so sorry to read about your situation, I’ve been there and I know how devastating being told that palliative chemo is the only available option is.

Only you can decide what to do next, but please make sure you’re making an informed decision.

You could start by asking them why all the other options have been ruled out, or getting your GP to ask them on your behalf. In my case it was because my primary was wrapped around my aorta making surgery or radiotherapy a life-threatening procedure for me. Ironic, given the fact I was told I might be dead in as little as 8 weeks. 

Ask them what the chances are of the chemo working and what’s the best likely outcome. I was told at best with chemo I’d get another 2 years. That was in 2013. 

Your husband was probably furious because he thought your mental health issues were leading you to make a bad decision. Unless you’ve been through it, you can’t imagine how devastating being told “palliative chemo only” is.

Cancer sucks. It is random and unfair. You are angry and frightened. Only you can decide what to do - it is your life and your decision. 

Best wishes

Dave

Thank you Dave for your support.Can I have some questions?Are you having chemo non-stop or you can have breaks?I like travelling abroad so I want carry on.

Also is your tumours shrinking?How often they do CT scans.

I am refusing the word palliative I still believe I can be cured.

Hi Denise, would you accept non curable, you still have treatment to shrink tumors but treatment won't get rid of them then probably after couple of years more treatment to shrink again, thats what I'm doing it's not cured but next best thing, remember even cured it can still come back, somewhere else. Best wishes.

Billy 

Hi Denise, you need caution it can be kill or cure, after my forth cemo, i spent eight days in hospital because i was going into a coma, with side effects it's up to you but be careful 

Hi Billy thanks for the warning but I am young and healthy never drunk or smoked my blood was always ok even with the 1st chemo in 2017 except my mental health I never had infections because I was careful I didn't work all of my treatment and never had any other issues except the hair loss.I think it depends on the person.I want to take my chance.Actually they have to accept my choice and I will sign anything.For me gain 1 year extra not enough I am sorry.i didn't mean to offend anybody.

Hi Denise,

Did you go for the chemo in the end?

Hi I was offered a "wonderful" trial with immunitherapy which only 1 person did it.Its only in testing phase so I said no Thank you.I don't want to be a guinea pig and it's maybe not going to work.I am on weekly Paclitaxel and I am glad I don't have even a hair loss and feeling much better.

If they tell me the cancer shrunk I am planing have mastectomy and surgery on my lungs.I am not willing to walk around to know there is still a lump.I know NHS won't do it so I will have the chemo and then I go private.I am not really happy because some people even with stage 4 have surgeries so why not me?

I regret and I blame my breast cancer surgeon 2 years ago if he know this one is so aggressive he should do a mastectomy not a lumpectomy now maybe I wouldn't have this problems.

Anyway I am determined I will be here in 10 years time I am feeling well and I am not listening to my oncologist rubbish talk anymore.I have never seen doctors like mine the try to kill you just with the negative attitude.

Hi Denise,

I’m so glad to read that you opted for the chemo and are fighting with all you’ve got! 

Love the attitude!

Good luck

Dave

Hello and thank you.i will show these doctors that you can't write somebody off too early