Hi Alison,

i have just joined this this forum for a similar reason. My Dad has been living with leukaemia for the past year and a half and we have just been told it’s not curable. I don’t feel like I have processed the fact he even has cancer as I’ve just put it to the back of my mind, thinking he would get better. I feel that now I am grieving him despite having not lost him yet and that’s making me feel horribly guilty too. I only found out about the terminal status about three days ago so I’m hoping that I’ll be able to get myself together and make the most of the time we have but right now I feel like I can’t even eat as I have a permanent knot in my stomach and I cry every time I’m alone. I am 32 and I have children who are extremely close to my Dad so I’m so worried for them too. How are the rest of your family coping with your Dad’s diagnosis? We are all just pretending nothing is happening, I don’t know if that’s a common thing or not but we don’t know what else to do. Does this sick feeling go away and does the shock of the terminal diagnosis go away after a while or are you still feeling it now? I really hope you are okay. Just know that I feel your pain and you aren’t alone 

x

Hi, thankyou for replying! I am so sorry to hear about your dad it is a horrible thing to hear especially when it comes to your dad because I can admit I am a daddy’s girl haha! I honestly do not think I will ever process the fact he has cancer because I go about my day and normally some people wouldn’t even think about their dad and their cancer but their is always a part in my mind where I constantly think about it like all the time and I get scared that I’ll lose him but I and my mum and my brother count each day as it comes and each day as a blessing, when it comes to my dads cancer being terminal he will die from it which is the most scariest thing because it could be a while but as my dads brain tumour is slow growing I think they gave him like 10-15 years and he is doing amazing so hopefully he will surpass that! But I am still coping with it and I think about it every single day, even though it’s been a while since his diagnosis it’s still affecting me today! It’s a tricky one as I always have good days and always have bad days but I had to get on with it and think positive even though I was always so scared, I was at college when I found out my dads cancer was back for a second time and I broke down a complete mess and did not go to college for about 3-4 weeks, it’s taken such an affect on my life that it’s nearly caused me to drop out of education etc but my family we don’t really talk about his diagnosis either, I never speak about it with my dad as I always get upset but my mum is like my bestfriend so I tell her everything that’s on mind about the situation and we talk about it, my brother is only 17 and he doesn’t really talk about his emotions like that but he understands the situation! I sometimes still feel shocked about the terminal diagnosis because it’s like wow that’s what my dad is going to die from and some days I’ve learnt to cope with it, the best way for me is to take my mind off it with work, going out with friends, just anything that will take my mind off of it for abit because there were times back in high school going into college maybe so I was 16 and I was so depressed I didn’t go into college and I didn’t want to do anything and I thought I cannot do that to myself any longer, I had a boyfriend at the time who kept me motivated and my friends and family I’m lucky to have them around me as they are a great support system! But we are better than cancer and a lot stronger and thankyou for your kind words and I hope you are doing ok too! You are not alone either and I thankyou for that xx