Hello I’m 66 male waiting for a prostate removal wife nasty

I was diagnosed August and told my Gleason score is 7 but borderline 6 , I’ve opted for robot surgery and am told it could be December or January for my op , since diagnosed my wife has been unbearable with negative comments & abuse towards me . I cannot believe the hurtful things she’s said , I’m trying to remain positive but it’s crippling me ,I’m not looking for sympathy but  last week she said “ it’s not like your ******* dying is it “& stuff like this :( plus personal insults galore !  has anyone else been through this 

thank you 

  • Hi Michaeloff.

    My operation was 8 years ago, and since then the products available have changed somewhat. I think the nearest equivalent pad now would be the Tena Men level 2. 

    As I mentioned in my earlier post, I started off with Tena for Men, which were a good general purpose pad for day and night use. I also found the Molimed for Men Protect good for night time use. 

    I recommend you also buy a good mattress protector in case of accidents while you sleep. 

    Incontinence is inevitable for about 6 months, but you should begin to see an improvement after 3-4 months. At this point you may find you don't need anything as thick and absorbent as the Tena pad. Always Ultra are aimed at women but there's no reason why you shouldn't use them. They're cheap, thin, comfortable and can absorb the occasional accident. You can also cut them in half and get two pads for the price of one.

    Just to give you some idea, I regained pretty much full continence after 6 months, so much that I was able to go confidently on day trips not wearing any pads during the day.  I continued to take some precautions at night but stopped those after one year.  In the years since I've had a few very minor accidents - just drops really. The more you do the pelvic floor exercises, the more quickly you'll get better. 

    Good luck with the surgery.