Hi everyone, 

My dad was diagnosed with stage 4 kidney cancer in July, with mets in his lungs, brian and lymph nodes. The first indication that anything was wrong was when he had a seizure in June. Following a hellish month in hospital, constant reassurance that it wasn't cancer, and surgery to remove the "small, single mass on his brain", the doctors instincts were proved wrong and we've been on this journey ever since. My dad is now receiving treatment, and my mom is caring for him full time. 

I provide as much support as possible, and care for him when my mom is busy or needs a break because I am a uni student so my schedule is fairly flexible. But, we are finding it a bit hard at the moment. My dad has always been a vibrant, clever, chatty man, the first to tell a story or get a laugh. He's gone from working full time in a job he really really loves and travelling half the year for that work to watching TV all day, He ignores his phone and is very snappy. He used to exercise regularly (he's 58 and he would go to Crossfit!) and now sometimes it's a struggle to get him to go for a walk even for 5 minutes. I know I can't understand what he's going through, but I want to try. I think he might be bored and upset and possibly lonely, even though he is surrounded by pets and people all day. He won't reach out for help, and won't talk about it, and whenever I bring up potentially going for counselling and seeking help I just get snapped at. 

I suppose my question is, how does having cancer affect people's day to day lives, and how do you cope with those changes? And how can family best support?

Thanks in advance for any help or insight. I've never posted on this forum before, but have got a lot of comfort from reading other people's posts over the last few months which have undoubtedly been the toughest of my life. It seems like a great community!