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feeling ashamed for having a whingy day

flissy100
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finally been told I have cancer - waiting to go in hospital for lobectomy 
I think I have been really positive - getting things arranged for post op etc - 
explained very truthfully to my daughters / family 
but today - have totally crashed - crying at the bottom of garden 
then I come on here and read your posts - I feel ashamed and have shoook myself 
my heart goes out to others suffering - families 
best wishes to a;;

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    Hi and stop right there ... 

    Oh my .. I for one shut myself off for 24 hours and cried till I couldn't cry any more .. including a want to scream .. coz I want to stay with my granddaughter... I wouldn't talk to any one .. I got the lot out .. befor I got back on and got a pair of boxing gloves on .. and was ready to take it on ...

    Everyone I chat to on here has had really bad days .. days feeling overwhelmed ... days we want it all to go away .. days when we forget what normal is ... not just me , everyone .... weather like me at the start .. or others that hold feelings in , then explode .. 

    You think wer a tough bunch and your right .. coz when one gets really low, the others rally round to support and get whoever, through those feelings... till they get back up .. it's just one huge chain, this chat room .. wer all just one link .. with nurses and coordinators to help us along too .. like a family ..

    So you have those days .. get it out .. let off steam ... yell /cry and scream at this cancer ... you'll be stronger after .. I go with all my feelings now.. whatever I need to feel to get me through ..

    Ashamed no no no ... be proud... your not superwoman ... oh no your just human ... then after come back and be here for someone else going through the lows .. cancer wants us to give up ... well we all bend but not brake ...  any one who wants can be part of this chain .. together .. wer punch cancer to the ground .. well kick it's butt .. well make it know , wer comming after it .. 

    LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS ... IT'S ABOUT LEARNING TO DANCE IN THE RAIN ... that got me through my tough days ..  big hug brave lass .. Chrissie

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    Hi Flissy, 

    Please please do not feel ashamed. Like Chris says we have all been there at some stage.

    I was 90/95% sure I was going to be told I had prostate cancer and thought I was doing well, but when it was finally confirmed it was a differnt matter. Up until then I kept clinging on the the fact there was a little bit of doubt but now here it was confimed in big banner headlines, "YOU HAVE CANCER". 

    Its a life changing moment when you are given that news so dont feel ashamed about how you felt. I always thing having a good cry is natures safety valve that lets us vent our feelings instead of bottling them up which does nobody any good.

    Luckily for me, my wife made me go to see my G.P. and luckily my cancer was caught early and I have made a good recovery which is why I joined this forum. Treatment is improving all the time so I hope you go on to make a good recovery too. Sending kind thoughts and best wishes your way, Brian

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    Sometimes there are tears among the fears

    And while I would say to anyone that it's okay

    I can't say it to myself

    So be prepared to be unheard

    By yourself

    Your own worst enemy

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    And best wishes to you to.  Don't be ashamed we've all been through the cancer diagnosis and it's a massive thing to take on board.   So you cry if you want to.  It's only the beginning so get the tears out the way and concentrate on getting better.  I haven't even got cancer, my husband  has, but I've cried also.  It's a relief to cry and then shake yourself, wash your face and fight it.  There are so  many long standing people on this forum fulll of kindness, good wishes and experience.   So make the most of us all and we'll be there for you.  Hugs your way, Carol

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