Hello Everyone
I am Jo. I am 41 and am married to John. We have two children Evie who is 12 and has Dyspraxia and Ryan who is almost 10.
My dad is 78 and last March he was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. He wasn't unwell, he just found a lump in his groin. He was prescribed a cause of R-CHOP and pretty much saled through it. He was extremley positive throughout and was adament from the get go that he would "kick it's ***". He did just that and in September last year he was told he was in remission.
Then about 1 month ago he found another lump and a week last Friday we were told that the Lymphoma is back and has spread to the Lymph nodes in his abdomen. His consultant told us that there in nothing they can do. They have prescribed Vinblastine and have told us that it is now about keeping him as well as possible for as long as possible. The consultant said that in terms of time "were not talking years".
Dad is still being positive. He has accepted the news with so much dignity. He has started to have the difficult converstaions, about DNAR's, funeral arrangements etc.
I am struggling - big time. I am so angry and I can't stop crying. I am a daddies girl, always have been. I just don't know how to feel, how to react. I don't want to waste this precious time feeling sorry for myself cos I know if dad knew how I was feeling he would kick my butt. I just can't seem to snap myself out of it.
I cannot spend the next year or however long we have left wallowing but I feel so low and desperatly sad I just don't know what to do with myself.
All advice welcome.
Thanks.
